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1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?
Jaime Pressly’s orgasm. Because of My Name Is Earl.
2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?
Sneeze, because it would be a sudden catastrophe instead of an impending Doom. I like surprises.
3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?
With the entire Royal New Zealand Temuera Morrison Clone Battalion as backup Bucho ambushes the lone Newman like a cowardly dog, slashing and striking fiercely as Newman stumbles backward toward the yawning precipice of Doom, dropping his own lightsabre in the process. Bucho towers above him, cackling like an athsmatic hyena, all four of his own weapons raised and ready to win glory for Aotearoa. He brings his blows thundering down with all the fiery fury of a very furious person but … Newman was a hologram!!!
At that moment the Maplenium Falcon roars out of the canyon and lays waste to the entire RNZTMCB by dumping 6,000,000 tons of sarlac dung, a substance so toxic and acidic it can melt Oprah Winfrey. As Bucho sinks to his horrific fate he raises his last fist, one last time …
4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?
I don’t get it. Why say it if there will be no consequences?
5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.
Bryan plus Frank plus minus Octavious minus Jerry equals Chewbacca, Superman and Dame Edna.
6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.
Best, first time I got my hands on a girl’s tits. Worst, Goose dies in Top Gun.
7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?
Once for every nineteen of Rob’s burps (NBLIANGW).
8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1.
Jerry starts out as an out of work actor and lothario and as the season runs he slowly discovers he has superpowers but they change in nature each episode in such a way that as the show nears its climactic scenes they are fading when he needs them most, leading to hilarious consequences. Each week, as well as encountering a different real life Hollywood star who gives him some sage advice about anything except acting, he forgets that he shouldn’t rely on his powers to solve his problems but relearns that he should just be himself.
Rob is a fireman with no fear of fire but is afflicted with hydrophobia so that he’s reduced to tears and the foetal position as soon as the hoses go on. As the season progresses he slowly overcomes his fear with visits to his therapist (played by Lindsay Lohan in a series of smoking hot and slightly-too-revealing outfits) who flirts riotously but impotently with Rob, who’s oblivious to the signals she’s sending him. Each episode ends with Rob saving a small child or cute animal that belongs to an available but ugly woman who he proceeds to ask out and be rejected by, all the while not realising that his superhot fiery crotched therapist would jump him in a second.
Bryan is undercover for the FBI and each episode appears in more and more ridiculous comically incompetent disguises. Known to us as the audience but not to him, his wife Jessica is the criminal mastermind he’s supposed to be tracking. Hi-jinks ensue as Jessica, forced to hide her true identity because of her love for The Captain, regularly finds new and hilarious ways to trip her man up without him knowing it’s her doing it. Over season 1 Bryan gets closer and closer to discovering the truth only to be thrown off by the devious red herring of thinking that it’s Rob who’s the bad guy. Hilariously, Rob is arrested, interrogated, tortured, interrogated, killed, tortured, revived and subjected to Oprah Winfrey before Bryan realises he’s got the wrong man/woman so the season ends with Bryan, Rob and Jerry laughing about the whole thing as they play pool and drink Rockstar.
9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?
The ETs will find that we have the same love of body part/function humour as they do but won’t understand all the Star Wars, Matrix and Superman references at first. And their first words will be “We come in peace … take us to your Paw-Paw.”
10 – Complete the following sentence.
Damnit Jerry, let go of my blaster so I can get the hostages into the foetal position.
11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?A real bull in a speedo on a mechanical Roxie.
12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?
Sphincter burns. We have some badass bacterias here on this South Pacific outpost.
13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.In 2027 Rusty is a con-man, preying on old ladies and retarded kids using a series of scams involving a gimp suit and a barrel of vaseline. He makes close to $560,000,000 a month. Armez is Hollywoods’s premiere leading man, and a polygamist with 6 supermodel wives. Musashi has been living on Mars for 5 months as part of the first manned mission and with his 7 man crew has set in place a base from which to launch terraforming operations. He fills in his spare time buy making prank emergency calls back to Earth.
14 – Describe Bucho as a baby.The size and hairiness of an adult mammoth and hollering louder than five hydrogen bombs. Capable of launching projectile vomit 800 meters and able to count to a million at the age of two weeks. First words, “tits, boobies, jub-jubs, behemoth.”
15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?
Rosie naked. Just to know for sure that her claim to womanhood is true.
16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.
“Sex Behemoths Of Comedy”
17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?That the scripts make ridiculous demands of the performers like “dialogue” and “acting”.
and Finally:
Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?
There’s no way to single one out, the coolest thing is if each of them does separate interviews and they’re played as part of different shows.NBLIANGW
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
Quote:At that moment the Maplenium Falcon roars out of the canyon and lays waste to the entire RNZTMCB by dumping 6,000,000 tons of sarlac dung, a substance so toxic and acidic it can melt Oprah Winfrey. As Bucho sinks to his horrific fate he raises his last fist, one last time …As you’re sinking, do you do the thumbs up like in Terminator 2?
Quote:all the while not realising that his superhot fiery crotched therapist would jump him in a second.Are you sure this is a sitcom? It sounds like a tragedy to me.
Quote:At that moment the Maplenium Falcon roars out of the canyon and lays waste to the entire RNZTMCB by dumping 6,000,000 tons of sarlac dung, a substance so toxic and acidic it can melt Oprah Winfrey. As Bucho sinks to his horrific fate he raises his last fist, one last time …As you’re sinking, do you do the thumbs up like in Terminator 2?
Quote:all the while not realising that his superhot fiery crotched therapist would jump him in a second.Are you sure this is a sitcom? It sounds like a tragedy to me.
rob wrote:Are you sure this is a sitcom? It sounds like a tragedy to me.Yeah well, you know what they say … the difference between comedy and tragedy is only the amount of bodies piled up at the end and whether they still have pulses. Actually I don’t know who says that.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
rob wrote:Are you sure this is a sitcom? It sounds like a tragedy to me.Yeah well, you know what they say … the difference between comedy and tragedy is only the amount of bodies piled up at the end and whether they still have pulses. Actually I don’t know who says that.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
Quote:whether they still have pulsesI know it says pulses, but I thought it said “pussies”. I was trying to understand…
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