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  • #1386
    Bing
    Participant

    ALL RIGHTEY ALL YE VAGRANTS!:

    Dig deep down in your duodenums and bring forth the answers most truthful.

    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?

    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?

    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?

    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?

    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.

    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.

    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?

    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1

    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?

    10 – Complete the following sentence.
    Damnit Jerry, let go of my _____ so I can get the _______ into the _______.

    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?

    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?

    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.

    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby

    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?

    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.

    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?

    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?

    (and if Bryan and the boys don’t play along just PM them until they cave in)

    NBLIANGW

    -bing “On his way to being banned from the forums”

    #16475
    Bing
    Participant

    ALL RIGHTEY ALL YE VAGRANTS!:

    Dig deep down in your duodenums and bring forth the answers most truthful.

    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?

    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?

    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?

    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?

    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.

    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.

    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?

    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1

    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?

    10 – Complete the following sentence.
    Damnit Jerry, let go of my _____ so I can get the _______ into the _______.

    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?

    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?

    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.

    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby

    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?

    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.

    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?

    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?

    (and if Bryan and the boys don’t play along just PM them until they cave in)

    NBLIANGW

    -bing “On his way to being banned from the forums”

    #16479
    Musashi
    Participant

    I will answer questions 1-13, depending on if i know how to answer.

    1:I would be my stomach, so I could eat a lot.

    2: I would do all three, because I would sneeze so hard i would poo, then laugh about it, then i would poo, and then i would pass out because the last poo came out too rough.

    3:they both end up with metal dicks and compete from there on who can bang more women without sexual pleasure.

    4: I would cuss out the president to his face, bang every girl of my dreams (if theiy’re somewhere in california) and end up in my bed, with orgasmic reverberations every twenty seconds.

    5: the end result would be me and armez. adding rusty to armez and i makes rob. exactly.

    6: the best moment: I turned 13. The worst moment: the fact that I got a hangover the next day. (not really…)

    7: ummmmmm…I’m not sure what a character arc is…

    8: I’m not sure,but I’m throwing it out there: 217 times?

    9: ummmm….rob’s head? maybe… he’d be a humalien.

    10: Damnit, Jerry, Let go of my pencil so I can get the toilet into the car wash.

    11:Bryan in a speedo on whatever is givin me a fiberglassy. Hawt.

    12: um…sleepiness, followed by amnesia.

    13:Rusty: he’s on the sidewalk wearing gloves. Armez: he’s in Iraq, making the iraqies laugh so america can bomb the shit outta them. and me: I’ll be in a 50-story tall building eating french gourmet chocolates, and having my company make me millions.

    That’s all I have to say.

    #16481
    Musashi
    Participant

    I will answer questions 1-13, depending on if i know how to answer.

    1:I would be my stomach, so I could eat a lot.

    2: I would do all three, because I would sneeze so hard i would poo, then laugh about it, then i would poo, and then i would pass out because the last poo came out too rough.

    3:they both end up with metal dicks and compete from there on who can bang more women without sexual pleasure.

    4: I would cuss out the president to his face, bang every girl of my dreams (if theiy’re somewhere in california) and end up in my bed, with orgasmic reverberations every twenty seconds.

    5: the end result would be me and armez. adding rusty to armez and i makes rob. exactly.

    6: the best moment: I turned 13. The worst moment: the fact that I got a hangover the next day. (not really…)

    7: ummmmmm…I’m not sure what a character arc is…

    8: I’m not sure,but I’m throwing it out there: 217 times?

    9: ummmm….rob’s head? maybe… he’d be a humalien.

    10: Damnit, Jerry, Let go of my pencil so I can get the toilet into the car wash.

    11:Bryan in a speedo on whatever is givin me a fiberglassy. Hawt.

    12: um…sleepiness, followed by amnesia.

    13:Rusty: he’s on the sidewalk wearing gloves. Armez: he’s in Iraq, making the iraqies laugh so america can bomb the shit outta them. and me: I’ll be in a 50-story tall building eating french gourmet chocolates, and having my company make me millions.

    That’s all I have to say.

    #16473
    Octavious
    Participant
    Bing wrote:
    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?
    Sleeping … cause I can dream of world that I don’t have.
    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?
    Laugh so hard I poo, then if I am caught, I can say “that was some funny shit!”
    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?
    For Bucho a kiwi flavored lightsaber and for Newman a chinese star shaped into a maple leaf.

    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?
    Steal money, cars and screw as many chicks I can.
    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.
    Armez
    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.
    Best: Having a car, Worst: Summers that didn’t last long.
    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?
    A lot.
    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1
    See answer 9
    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?
    Jeryy playing the piano, Rob thinking of something funny to say and Bryan on the floor laughing that would lead to medical attention.
    10 – Complete the following sentence.
    Damnit Jerry, let go of myassso I can get the beer into the Real Doll’s anus.
    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?
    Whore dog
    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?
    Headache
    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.
    High school dropouts smoking bongs and fell ass-backwards into money because they are on a fucked up stupid show on MTV!
    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby
    Cute and for right now hardly no hair
    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?
    That depends if seeing will be a split second, if not I rather lick a rotten anus
    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.
    switched:Off…. just kidding. 3 homos in Texas…naw playing with ya. The I can’t believe these guys have a kick ass pod cast show Show
    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?
    Why my cock isn’t 18 inches!
    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?
    Darth Octavious… oh that’s me! I think I get your hint Bing, it will be done soon.

    #16474
    Octavious
    Participant
    Bing wrote:
    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?
    Sleeping … cause I can dream of world that I don’t have.
    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?
    Laugh so hard I poo, then if I am caught, I can say “that was some funny shit!”
    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?
    For Bucho a kiwi flavored lightsaber and for Newman a chinese star shaped into a maple leaf.

    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?
    Steal money, cars and screw as many chicks I can.
    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.
    Armez
    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.
    Best: Having a car, Worst: Summers that didn’t last long.
    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?
    A lot.
    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1
    See answer 9
    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?
    Jeryy playing the piano, Rob thinking of something funny to say and Bryan on the floor laughing that would lead to medical attention.
    10 – Complete the following sentence.
    Damnit Jerry, let go of myassso I can get the beer into the Real Doll’s anus.
    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?
    Whore dog
    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?
    Headache
    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.
    High school dropouts smoking bongs and fell ass-backwards into money because they are on a fucked up stupid show on MTV!
    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby
    Cute and for right now hardly no hair
    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?
    That depends if seeing will be a split second, if not I rather lick a rotten anus
    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.
    switched:Off…. just kidding. 3 homos in Texas…naw playing with ya. The I can’t believe these guys have a kick ass pod cast show Show
    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?
    Why my cock isn’t 18 inches!
    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?
    Darth Octavious… oh that’s me! I think I get your hint Bing, it will be done soon.

    #16462
    Version3
    Keymaster
    Bing wrote:
    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?

    Female Orgasm… because I’d so want to be!

    Bing wrote:
    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?

    Poo so hard you passout… it’s not as likely that everyone will know unless you are stupid enough to tell Rob the day of a show.

    Bing wrote:
    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?

    Newman tries to confuse Bucho by continuously asking him what he does for a living. To make matters worse, he uses his secret weapon of dragging other people into the situation that really have nothing to say, but are there anyway just jabbering anyway. Bucho puts mics in front of Newman and crew and once they are confused and no longer know what exactly to talk about he strike them down with all of his hatred and Canada as a whole country breaks into internal conflict and Hockey style brawl as they debate whether or not this was a fair move. New Zealand wins.

    Bing wrote:
    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?

    Verbally make threats to get on national TV and tell everyone I can identify in the next 23 hrs, exactly what I think of them.

    Bing wrote:
    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.

    Easy

    F+R=P
    O+J=Y
    then
    B+P-Y

    B+(F+R)-(O+J)= Lo to the Loteenth Power.

    Bing wrote:
    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.

    Birth of oldest child.
    Initial news that the above would come to pass.

    Bing wrote:
    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?

    That’s like asking how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop… the world may never know.

    Bing wrote:
    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1

    Bryan will become a control freak and will lose everything and have only the show to hold him together. It will appear that this loss will teach him about what is important in life, but he will shrug it off and because the comically out of touch soon to be old guy driving a Corvette to pick up chicks.

    Jerry will be understanding of Bryan’s situation, but be frustrated that Bryan is stepping away from a point if life that Jerry feels he needs to get to, in order to complete his own (family life). He will pour himself into his music, and gain notoriety for it, but give it all up to make jingles for fake products because he likes the hours better. It will teach him nothing about fulfilling any of his dreams, and he will spend his spare time trying to build a better Matrix.

    Rob will appear content, but will be the only one that ends the season with accomplishment, with the seemingly small goal completion of making someone laugh until they actually pee their pants. The cliffhanger will be the path that Rob will likely choose, as this could boost his confidence to the point of pursuing his fate of becoming Prez of the USA, even though he isn’t gay, or send him spiraling down a path of mediocrity with the realization that meeting the goal so early means his life has already peaked, and there is little left for him in the real world.

    Bing wrote:
    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?

    That humanity has not shame, and no feelings toward the thoughts of others. They will believe that all humans are independent, and find feces to be the primary topic of both conversation, and interpersonal bonding. They will also believe that tits are the… oh wait, that one might already be true.

    Bing wrote:
    10 – Complete the following sentence.
    Damnit Jerry, let go of my _____ so I can get the _______ into the _______.

    Dammit Jerry, let go of my pencil so I can get the words into the sentence.

    Bing wrote:
    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?

    Roxy. She’s hot dude. hahahaha

    Bing wrote:
    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?

    Sneezing… you spend far more time being distracted by the sneeze, then you do with the actual sneeze.

    Bing wrote:
    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.

    Hanging up from some very long voice mail messages.

    Bing wrote:
    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby

    infatuated with legos from day 1.

    Bing wrote:
    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?

    Rosie… I’ve stumbled on some pretty bad images and managed to wash them out with hot chick porn… but I’d end up dead or in jail after 4 hours of The View.

    Bing wrote:
    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.

    P B and J (Poo Boobs and Jokes)

    Bing wrote:
    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?

    having to get that damn close to Ron Jeremy’s hairy ass.

    Bing wrote:
    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?

    Jerry… but watch out, he’ll interview you, interviewing him!

    Bing wrote:
    (and if Bryan and the boys don’t play along just PM them until they cave in)

    Why would I not?

    Bing wrote:
    NBLIANGW

    -bing “On his way to being banned from the forums”

    Nah, we love you man! MOST in a non-gay way.

    #16464
    Version3
    Keymaster
    Bing wrote:
    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?

    Female Orgasm… because I’d so want to be!

    Bing wrote:
    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?

    Poo so hard you passout… it’s not as likely that everyone will know unless you are stupid enough to tell Rob the day of a show.

    Bing wrote:
    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?

    Newman tries to confuse Bucho by continuously asking him what he does for a living. To make matters worse, he uses his secret weapon of dragging other people into the situation that really have nothing to say, but are there anyway just jabbering anyway. Bucho puts mics in front of Newman and crew and once they are confused and no longer know what exactly to talk about he strike them down with all of his hatred and Canada as a whole country breaks into internal conflict and Hockey style brawl as they debate whether or not this was a fair move. New Zealand wins.

    Bing wrote:
    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?

    Verbally make threats to get on national TV and tell everyone I can identify in the next 23 hrs, exactly what I think of them.

    Bing wrote:
    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.

    Easy

    F+R=P
    O+J=Y
    then
    B+P-Y

    B+(F+R)-(O+J)= Lo to the Loteenth Power.

    Bing wrote:
    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.

    Birth of oldest child.
    Initial news that the above would come to pass.

    Bing wrote:
    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?

    That’s like asking how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop… the world may never know.

    Bing wrote:
    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1

    Bryan will become a control freak and will lose everything and have only the show to hold him together. It will appear that this loss will teach him about what is important in life, but he will shrug it off and because the comically out of touch soon to be old guy driving a Corvette to pick up chicks.

    Jerry will be understanding of Bryan’s situation, but be frustrated that Bryan is stepping away from a point if life that Jerry feels he needs to get to, in order to complete his own (family life). He will pour himself into his music, and gain notoriety for it, but give it all up to make jingles for fake products because he likes the hours better. It will teach him nothing about fulfilling any of his dreams, and he will spend his spare time trying to build a better Matrix.

    Rob will appear content, but will be the only one that ends the season with accomplishment, with the seemingly small goal completion of making someone laugh until they actually pee their pants. The cliffhanger will be the path that Rob will likely choose, as this could boost his confidence to the point of pursuing his fate of becoming Prez of the USA, even though he isn’t gay, or send him spiraling down a path of mediocrity with the realization that meeting the goal so early means his life has already peaked, and there is little left for him in the real world.

    Bing wrote:
    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?

    That humanity has not shame, and no feelings toward the thoughts of others. They will believe that all humans are independent, and find feces to be the primary topic of both conversation, and interpersonal bonding. They will also believe that tits are the… oh wait, that one might already be true.

    Bing wrote:
    10 – Complete the following sentence.
    Damnit Jerry, let go of my _____ so I can get the _______ into the _______.

    Dammit Jerry, let go of my pencil so I can get the words into the sentence.

    Bing wrote:
    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?

    Roxy. She’s hot dude. hahahaha

    Bing wrote:
    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?

    Sneezing… you spend far more time being distracted by the sneeze, then you do with the actual sneeze.

    Bing wrote:
    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.

    Hanging up from some very long voice mail messages.

    Bing wrote:
    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby

    infatuated with legos from day 1.

    Bing wrote:
    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?

    Rosie… I’ve stumbled on some pretty bad images and managed to wash them out with hot chick porn… but I’d end up dead or in jail after 4 hours of The View.

    Bing wrote:
    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.

    P B and J (Poo Boobs and Jokes)

    Bing wrote:
    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?

    having to get that damn close to Ron Jeremy’s hairy ass.

    Bing wrote:
    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?

    Jerry… but watch out, he’ll interview you, interviewing him!

    Bing wrote:
    (and if Bryan and the boys don’t play along just PM them until they cave in)

    Why would I not?

    Bing wrote:
    NBLIANGW

    -bing “On his way to being banned from the forums”

    Nah, we love you man! MOST in a non-gay way.

    #16478
    Musashi
    Participant

    v-3, your #14 answer is…very true. Have you heard my past 3 messages? THE TIME LIMIT CUTS ME OFF…HALFWAY THRU. Rusty complains I take too long. But that’s why you guys made it so it was ten minutes, right? so we’d get all the time we need…

    #15: I’d rather look at rosie o’donell…..if it was for like, 1/100 of a millisecond. Even still I wouldn’t get rid of the mental scars……

    #16480
    Musashi
    Participant

    v-3, your #14 answer is…very true. Have you heard my past 3 messages? THE TIME LIMIT CUTS ME OFF…HALFWAY THRU. Rusty complains I take too long. But that’s why you guys made it so it was ten minutes, right? so we’d get all the time we need…

    #15: I’d rather look at rosie o’donell…..if it was for like, 1/100 of a millisecond. Even still I wouldn’t get rid of the mental scars……

    #16461
    Version3
    Keymaster

    Mustang Sushi: Listen to the latest show for feedback on your messages.

    Don’t be lazy, answer all of the questions.

    #16463
    Version3
    Keymaster

    Mustang Sushi: Listen to the latest show for feedback on your messages.

    Don’t be lazy, answer all of the questions.

    #16476
    Frank
    Participant

    My turn:

    Bing wrote:
    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?

    Official breastial hormone regulator. It would be my job to increase hormone output to increase the size of the boobies. It’s a real job, look it up on Mustang Sushi’s version of Google.

    Bing wrote:
    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?

    Okay, I’ve laughed so hard I’ve pooed a little (Side note to Bing: It’s the stove) so I’ll go with that.

    Bing wrote:
    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?

    Being that it’s a CNN report, it probably isn’t all that accurate, which means that Bucho actually shows up with three lighters and bad gas. Since Ted Turner doesn’t trust the Canadians, Newman would probably show up with a baguette and a thick French accent (Turner thinks that Canada’s just like France, bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys). Newman will smack Bucho upside the head with the very stale baguette, but in an act of compassion, Bucho will light Frenchy Newman’s cigarette and peace will be restored. That is, until Darth Octavious shows up … (TO BE CONTINUED)

    Bing wrote:
    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?

    Pretty much everyone I work with would get an earful, such as:
    John – You’re incredibly fat, you smell like you’ve pissed yourself every single day and nobody likes you because you’re an evil sumbitch.
    Parrish – You’re a worthless asshole who ends up stealing precious air from everyone around you.

    Seriously, the list would go on and on and I would pull a Bill Hicks on each and every one of them.

    Bing wrote:
    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.

    The answer is simple if you apply the basic algorithms associated with quotient. However, if I was to explain it to you in such a way that you would be able to understand it, your head would simply explode, thereby defeating the overall purpose of the exercise. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Stephen Hawking for helping me with this one. 🙂

    Bing wrote:
    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.

    Oh god. I had many “best moments:” Fucking Bree Ferguson (cheerleader) after homecoming (me being a football player and all), fucking Angie Knight backstage of the theater at the high school after school, getting blown by Crystal Hill at the park on Valentine’s Day (my god, for some reason, I’m totally depressed right now). Worst moments? I guess breaking my wrist playing badmitton should be up there. As should Erin Holliday giving me the worst blow job at her mom’s house after coming back from the Smashing Pumpkins concert my senior year (yes, it’s bad when you have to tell her “Just … here, let me do it.”) Okay, I’m stopping there.

    Bing wrote:
    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?

    Don’t remember the exact number of times. That’s my bad, yo.

    Bing wrote:
    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1

    Rob, who loves sandwiches, tries to pursue his love of acting and gets nowhere. Jerry, who for some reason no one knows what it is exactly he does, ends up messing around with his next-door neighbor. Bryan, who plays a paleontologist, ends up dating the incredibly hot girl whom he’s had a crush on ever since high school. Hilarity ensues. Wait, where have I heard all this before … regardless, the theme song will be done by The Rembrandts.

    Bing wrote:
    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?

    BEWARE PAWPAW. BLOCK ALL COMMUNICATIONS FROM THE EARTHLING CALLED RUSTY AND THE EARTHLING CALLED ARMEZ. DROP OFf PEN LEFT BY BING THE LAST TIME HE WAS ABOARD SHIP … end communication …

    Bing wrote:
    10 – Complete the following sentence.
    Damnit Jerry, let go of my _____ so I can get the _______ into the _______.

    Damnit Jerry, let go of my dignity so I can get the peepee into the whowhodilly.

    Bing wrote:
    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?

    Um, Bryan in a speedo, gives PawPaw special feelings. Um ….

    Bing wrote:
    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?

    The incessant nausea? Perhaps the cold chills.

    Bing wrote:
    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.

    Mustang Sushi – Dude, you do that thing?
    Rusty – Uh, yeah.
    Armez – Let’s call and leave a voicemail message.
    Rusty – I already did that.
    Mustang Sushi – Wanna do it again?
    Rusty – I’ve already done it 12 times within the last hour.
    Armez – Well, one more won’t kill the thing.
    Rusty – Oh all right, just one more … this hour …

    Bing wrote:
    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby

    “This is Channel 11 News. We’re here just outside of Wellington at the site of the birth. Now, we’re not sure yet … what is that? … right, we’re not sure yet how the mother survived giving birth to an 88-kilogram baby, but from what we gather, both are doing well and the mother is both happy, very relived and in a lot of pain.”

    Bing wrote:
    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?

    Option C: Kill myself, then sit through 96 hours of “The View.” You didn’t say you couldn’t kill yourself first.

    Bing wrote:
    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.

    Welcome to the Magic Happy Pants Good Time Feel Right Wonder Bright Happy Show (apparently, it’s recorded in Japan now for some reason?)

    Bing wrote:
    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?

    Can someone get makeup to come in here and cover up whatever the hell that is on her ass? I’m going to be filming down there a lot today and I don’t want to look at it.

    Bing wrote:
    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?

    I think Bing should interview himself. That would be some hi-larious entertainment pooge right there.

    #16477
    Frank
    Participant

    My turn:

    Bing wrote:
    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?

    Official breastial hormone regulator. It would be my job to increase hormone output to increase the size of the boobies. It’s a real job, look it up on Mustang Sushi’s version of Google.

    Bing wrote:
    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?

    Okay, I’ve laughed so hard I’ve pooed a little (Side note to Bing: It’s the stove) so I’ll go with that.

    Bing wrote:
    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?

    Being that it’s a CNN report, it probably isn’t all that accurate, which means that Bucho actually shows up with three lighters and bad gas. Since Ted Turner doesn’t trust the Canadians, Newman would probably show up with a baguette and a thick French accent (Turner thinks that Canada’s just like France, bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys). Newman will smack Bucho upside the head with the very stale baguette, but in an act of compassion, Bucho will light Frenchy Newman’s cigarette and peace will be restored. That is, until Darth Octavious shows up … (TO BE CONTINUED)

    Bing wrote:
    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?

    Pretty much everyone I work with would get an earful, such as:
    John – You’re incredibly fat, you smell like you’ve pissed yourself every single day and nobody likes you because you’re an evil sumbitch.
    Parrish – You’re a worthless asshole who ends up stealing precious air from everyone around you.

    Seriously, the list would go on and on and I would pull a Bill Hicks on each and every one of them.

    Bing wrote:
    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.

    The answer is simple if you apply the basic algorithms associated with quotient. However, if I was to explain it to you in such a way that you would be able to understand it, your head would simply explode, thereby defeating the overall purpose of the exercise. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Stephen Hawking for helping me with this one. 🙂

    Bing wrote:
    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.

    Oh god. I had many “best moments:” Fucking Bree Ferguson (cheerleader) after homecoming (me being a football player and all), fucking Angie Knight backstage of the theater at the high school after school, getting blown by Crystal Hill at the park on Valentine’s Day (my god, for some reason, I’m totally depressed right now). Worst moments? I guess breaking my wrist playing badmitton should be up there. As should Erin Holliday giving me the worst blow job at her mom’s house after coming back from the Smashing Pumpkins concert my senior year (yes, it’s bad when you have to tell her “Just … here, let me do it.”) Okay, I’m stopping there.

    Bing wrote:
    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?

    Don’t remember the exact number of times. That’s my bad, yo.

    Bing wrote:
    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1

    Rob, who loves sandwiches, tries to pursue his love of acting and gets nowhere. Jerry, who for some reason no one knows what it is exactly he does, ends up messing around with his next-door neighbor. Bryan, who plays a paleontologist, ends up dating the incredibly hot girl whom he’s had a crush on ever since high school. Hilarity ensues. Wait, where have I heard all this before … regardless, the theme song will be done by The Rembrandts.

    Bing wrote:
    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?

    BEWARE PAWPAW. BLOCK ALL COMMUNICATIONS FROM THE EARTHLING CALLED RUSTY AND THE EARTHLING CALLED ARMEZ. DROP OFf PEN LEFT BY BING THE LAST TIME HE WAS ABOARD SHIP … end communication …

    Bing wrote:
    10 – Complete the following sentence.
    Damnit Jerry, let go of my _____ so I can get the _______ into the _______.

    Damnit Jerry, let go of my dignity so I can get the peepee into the whowhodilly.

    Bing wrote:
    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?

    Um, Bryan in a speedo, gives PawPaw special feelings. Um ….

    Bing wrote:
    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?

    The incessant nausea? Perhaps the cold chills.

    Bing wrote:
    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.

    Mustang Sushi – Dude, you do that thing?
    Rusty – Uh, yeah.
    Armez – Let’s call and leave a voicemail message.
    Rusty – I already did that.
    Mustang Sushi – Wanna do it again?
    Rusty – I’ve already done it 12 times within the last hour.
    Armez – Well, one more won’t kill the thing.
    Rusty – Oh all right, just one more … this hour …

    Bing wrote:
    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby

    “This is Channel 11 News. We’re here just outside of Wellington at the site of the birth. Now, we’re not sure yet … what is that? … right, we’re not sure yet how the mother survived giving birth to an 88-kilogram baby, but from what we gather, both are doing well and the mother is both happy, very relived and in a lot of pain.”

    Bing wrote:
    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?

    Option C: Kill myself, then sit through 96 hours of “The View.” You didn’t say you couldn’t kill yourself first.

    Bing wrote:
    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.

    Welcome to the Magic Happy Pants Good Time Feel Right Wonder Bright Happy Show (apparently, it’s recorded in Japan now for some reason?)

    Bing wrote:
    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?

    Can someone get makeup to come in here and cover up whatever the hell that is on her ass? I’m going to be filming down there a lot today and I don’t want to look at it.

    Bing wrote:
    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?

    I think Bing should interview himself. That would be some hi-larious entertainment pooge right there.

    #16466
    Bucho
    Participant

    1-If you were a bodily function which would you be and why?

    Jaime Pressly’s orgasm. Because of My Name Is Earl.

    2-Would you rather: Sneeze so hard you poo; Laugh so hard you poo; or Poo so hard you pass out?

    Sneeze, because it would be a sudden catastrophe instead of an impending Doom. I like surprises.

    3-CNN reports that New Zealand has declared war on the USA or Canada. Bucho shows up wielding 4 lightsabers and coughing all over the place. Obi Wan Newman is sent to “dispatch” him. How does the encounter go and what secret weapon does each combatant wield?

    With the entire Royal New Zealand Temuera Morrison Clone Battalion as backup Bucho ambushes the lone Newman like a cowardly dog, slashing and striking fiercely as Newman stumbles backward toward the yawning precipice of Doom, dropping his own lightsabre in the process. Bucho towers above him, cackling like an athsmatic hyena, all four of his own weapons raised and ready to win glory for Aotearoa. He brings his blows thundering down with all the fiery fury of a very furious person but … Newman was a hologram!!!

    At that moment the Maplenium Falcon roars out of the canyon and lays waste to the entire RNZTMCB by dumping 6,000,000 tons of sarlac dung, a substance so toxic and acidic it can melt Oprah Winfrey. As Bucho sinks to his horrific fate he raises his last fist, one last time …

    4-You are allowed 24 hours where you can say anything you want with no fear of reprisals or consequences? What do you do?

    I don’t get it. Why say it if there will be no consequences?

    5-If Frank plus Rob equals Pa-ul. And Octavious plus Jerry equals YouFollowMe. Then solve Bryan plus Pa-ul minus YouFollowMe.

    Bryan plus Frank plus minus Octavious minus Jerry equals Chewbacca, Superman and Dame Edna.

    6-Describe the best and worst moment of your teenage years.

    Best, first time I got my hands on a girl’s tits. Worst, Goose dies in Top Gun.

    7-How many times has Mike the Mortgage guy (or is it Mike the Administrator Guy) poo’ed on switched on show?

    Once for every nineteen of Rob’s burps (NBLIANGW).

    8-SOS becomes a half hour sitcom on Thursday nights. Describe the character arc for each of the 3 SOS’ers for season 1.

    Jerry starts out as an out of work actor and lothario and as the season runs he slowly discovers he has superpowers but they change in nature each episode in such a way that as the show nears its climactic scenes they are fading when he needs them most, leading to hilarious consequences. Each week, as well as encountering a different real life Hollywood star who gives him some sage advice about anything except acting, he forgets that he shouldn’t rely on his powers to solve his problems but relearns that he should just be himself.

    Rob is a fireman with no fear of fire but is afflicted with hydrophobia so that he’s reduced to tears and the foetal position as soon as the hoses go on. As the season progresses he slowly overcomes his fear with visits to his therapist (played by Lindsay Lohan in a series of smoking hot and slightly-too-revealing outfits) who flirts riotously but impotently with Rob, who’s oblivious to the signals she’s sending him. Each episode ends with Rob saving a small child or cute animal that belongs to an available but ugly woman who he proceeds to ask out and be rejected by, all the while not realising that his superhot fiery crotched therapist would jump him in a second.

    Bryan is undercover for the FBI and each episode appears in more and more ridiculous comically incompetent disguises. Known to us as the audience but not to him, his wife Jessica is the criminal mastermind he’s supposed to be tracking. Hi-jinks ensue as Jessica, forced to hide her true identity because of her love for The Captain, regularly finds new and hilarious ways to trip her man up without him knowing it’s her doing it. Over season 1 Bryan gets closer and closer to discovering the truth only to be thrown off by the devious red herring of thinking that it’s Rob who’s the bad guy. Hilariously, Rob is arrested, interrogated, tortured, interrogated, killed, tortured, revived and subjected to Oprah Winfrey before Bryan realises he’s got the wrong man/woman so the season ends with Bryan, Rob and Jerry laughing about the whole thing as they play pool and drink Rockstar.

    9-If the first contact aliens have with humanity is the switched on show library of shows, what image of humanity will they take from the shows?

    The ETs will find that we have the same love of body part/function humour as they do but won’t understand all the Star Wars, Matrix and Superman references at first. And their first words will be “We come in peace … take us to your Paw-Paw.”

    10 – Complete the following sentence.

    Damnit Jerry, let go of my blaster so I can get the hostages into the foetal position.


    11 – Which is sexier. Bryan’s whore dog roxie (sp?) or Bryan in a speedo on a mechanical bull?

    A real bull in a speedo on a mechanical Roxie.

    12 – What symptom of the flu do you most equate with today’s international political tensions?

    Sphincter burns. We have some badass bacterias here on this South Pacific outpost.


    13 – Describe Rusty, Armez, and Mushashi in 20 years.

    In 2027 Rusty is a con-man, preying on old ladies and retarded kids using a series of scams involving a gimp suit and a barrel of vaseline. He makes close to $560,000,000 a month. Armez is Hollywoods’s premiere leading man, and a polygamist with 6 supermodel wives. Musashi has been living on Mars for 5 months as part of the first manned mission and with his 7 man crew has set in place a base from which to launch terraforming operations. He fills in his spare time buy making prank emergency calls back to Earth.


    14 – Describe Bucho as a baby.

    The size and hairiness of an adult mammoth and hollering louder than five hydrogen bombs. Capable of launching projectile vomit 800 meters and able to count to a million at the age of two weeks. First words, “tits, boobies, jub-jubs, behemoth.”

    15 – Would you rather see Rosie O’Donnel naked or sit through 96 hours of “The View” with no commercials or interruptions?

    Rosie naked. Just to know for sure that her claim to womanhood is true.

    16 – You invent a time machine and go back to change the name from “Switched: On” to something else. What do you call it.

    “Sex Behemoths Of Comedy”


    17 – A magical porn genie turns you into a porn cameraman, what is your biggest job complaint?

    That the scripts make ridiculous demands of the performers like “dialogue” and “acting”.

    and Finally:

    Assuming Bryan will allow it to happen and the guys play along…which SOS’er would you like Bing to interview by phone to be played on an SOS podcast?

    There’s no way to single one out, the coolest thing is if each of them does separate interviews and they’re played as part of different shows.

    NBLIANGW

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

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