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Bucho and Digi already know about this comic I’ve been working on. Basically, since being banned by Red Bubble, I’ve had no creative outlet. This comic was supposed to be an outlet for my creative urges whilst simultaneously acknowledging my lack of actual creative ability and hopefully making up for lack of creative talent with a decent story. However, whilst not professional comic art work, it has turned out much much better than I envisioned it would… See what you guys think. Are you entertained?
BIG JOBBIESPage three was funny.
I think page one could use an “oops” stinger or equivalent from the pilot.
I feel those are the two strongest pages.
Pages two and four are too dialogue-heavy. You could probably omit them altogether. I’m a big fan of “show, don’t tell” in novels. Comics are an even more perfect medium for this. A one page arc with a single-panel denouement would be enough for me.
As long as the art style remains consistent and well-defined (which it is in these five pages) you’ve got a really good start here.
My essence still senses Bucho's women.
In the future there’ll be less need for expository set-up pages I’ll wager.
Aside from the green background of the first page I like all the colour choices. The facial expressions are strong. The killing of Falkor to be celebrated with glee. Continually impressed by how solid this is considering you’re a complete amateur Ori and curious as heck to see what happens.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
Cheers. I’m already uneasy with the dialogue heavy pages 2 and 4. Especially page 4, but feel it’s important to just get it out there what exactly the DREAMY-verse is. I have another major plot device called the DREAM-licator that needs introducing. But, as Bucho says, I should be able to do this via the story itself, so hopefully exposition won’t be a recurring problem.
I’m just itching to introduce the rest of the crew, the Electric Goat Company, the Church Of Colin Kinnear, Monkey Test Pilots, the Cult Of Colin Kinnear and various characters from TV, film and books 🙂
BIG JOBBIESEven though my opinion differs greatly, I will give it anyway. I’m a story fan, so dialogue heavy is fine with me. I enjoyed reading it. But again, that opinion is probably pretty rare.
I enjoyed seeing Falkor’s body resemble a cartoon ham or something. That was fantastic.
Page five though seemed jarring, like I thought something was missing. Goes from the Joker and Critter to poop?
That’s not a bad point at all from Robby about how page five jumps away from a very dramatic reveal of the circumstances of the situation to the ultimate in mundanity. In that context it feels like it needs another strip before the crapper scene where he processes the situation and asks the ship’s computer a few questions to get his head around this major development in his life.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
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