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Okay, I come back from lunch just now, and there’s a lady with a neck brace on it, and she’s got motherfuckin’ rhinestones and shit on there. It’s all designed like one of those shitty shirts you see women who work at a craft store wearing, where it’s all 3d and shit. Raised lettering.
What the fuck?! I mean, I can understand personalizing yo’ shit, even if I don’t do it myself. But a fuckin’ neck brace?
I started singing “I’m a Rhinestone Cripple” and felt bad immediately afterwards.
Don’t feel bad buddy, I would’ve done the same thing. When people try to make something like that look “pretty” or “fashionable”, I die a little inside. I’m just like, okay, you’ve got a cast, don’t put glitter on it please. I’m not sure if these people are trying to make casts or braces a new style, but it’s not working.
I always think of those types of braces, especially if the wearer has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, as scaffolding whilst renovation work is carried out. Either that or a launch tower for sending their head back to the planet of origin.
If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.
What I want to know, is how fucked up was that woman’s neck? How long is she wearing that thing where she needs to spice it up a bit?
I would have nicknamed her ‘superhead’ right on the spot.
Pa-ul wrote:I always think of those types of braces, especially if the wearer has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, as scaffolding whilst renovation work is carried out. Either that or a launch tower for sending their head back to the planet of origin.😆 Where the hell do you come up with this stuff dude?
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
Rhinestone Cripple?
Dude that is some seriously creative, mean, and funny shit right there.
I salute you sir!
Bucho wrote:Pa-ul wrote:I always think of those types of braces, especially if the wearer has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, as scaffolding whilst renovation work is carried out. Either that or a launch tower for sending their head back to the planet of origin.😆 Where the hell do you come up with this stuff dude?
Magnetism, opposites attract. Natural thoughts + unnatural mind.
or somting
Mexican Hat Dance
If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.
I was at Best Buy today, and I saw something that immediately reminded me of this post. I was just browsing, much to the dismay of the salespeople, when a woman came up, with something that I’m not even sure I can describe.
On her right leg was a cast, but, apparently, this individual was too special to be in a wheelchair or on crutches. She was kneeling her right leg on what I think was a small table with wheels on it. I don’t know, maybe you had to be there to really get the effect, but I almost laughed my ass off. This lady was attempting to take a regular step with her left leg, and then lean down and wheel her cripple leg around. I can’t even imagine how long it took to get around with this setup.
I, too, would have laughed. That’s just so sad. These damn cripples’ll do almost anything to appear normal. It would have been great if she had a roller skate on the other foot and a midget was pushing her around followed by her beer-bellied sasquatch of a husband.
I saw something today that almost made me throw up. I was at Braum’s today (an ice cream store, but they serve food, and their breakfasts are kick-ass) and ordered me some biscuits and sausage gravy. While I’m waiting, I take a seat nearest to the cashier so I can get my food and run out to the car and scarf it down before I’ve got to get to work. While I’m waiting, I’m watching this family eat. 5 people — a man and a woman and their little boy, and what appeared to be one of the adult’s parents. Well, the woman gets up to throw her shit away, and her shirt comes above her belly.
Now, imagine yourself grabbing some pizza dough and pulling it off a table enough to where it sags a bit, but it’s still on the table. If you could look underneath — that’s what her belly looked like. All stretched and somewhat transparent-looking.
Lucky for me I had the Harry Potter audiobooks playing in the car, otherwise, I don’t know if I could have eaten anything.
I went into Goodwill for my Halloween costume today. It was like..Goodwill dressed up as the 1980s for Halloween. It was WEIRD. There was this one girl in there, who was about my age, and she was working there, apparently. And she had her hair just..like, there was a bun-type thing on one side, and it was down on the other. I got freaked out.
Goodwill smells like cheap people.
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