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So I tried to get April to play along with this where we tell a story, trading off, but she wasn’t playing along. So I need to know what happens to Peppy.
Peppy the dachshund is friends with Chester the squirrel. Peppy is going to send some acorns and other assorted nuts to Chester he has acquired through his work as a prostitute. He’s on his way to the post office when…
… he passes an alleyway, into which he casts a sideways glance and has his eye caught by a body-shaped lump slumped on the ground in the shadows. Peppy looks up and down the street but it’s deserted, so, with a nervous gulp, he enters the alley and slowly approaches the lump and is surprised to find …
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
… an old man, resembling John Lennon, laying down, with some trash as a pillow. Peppy walks closer, and the man shifts to look at Peppy. “Who is there?” murmurs the man. Peppy doesn’t respond, and the man examines him for a moment, then asks Peppy …
“Hey, you got any pancakes?”
“What do you think, ya dumb shit? I’m a fuckin’ dog.” But all the old man heard was, “Ruff.”
The old man then…
… stood up and looked at Peppy. Peppy noticed there was a few scraps of food on the ground beside the old man. “You going to eat those?” Peppy asked but did not get a response from the man – as we all know, most old men can’t understand dogs. As Peppy approached the food, the old man yells at him, “what the hell are you doing you dog?” but it is too late, because Peppy …
… is as quick and nimble as a dog who’s trained extensively in the dark arts of ninjitsu and before the old man can react Peppy is off like a lighting bolt with the food in his mouth.
“You pesky varmint!” the old man hollers after Peppy as he shakes his fist in the air feebly, but Peppy rounds the corner at high velocity and runs across the road into the park where he …
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
… ceased to exist.
It’s a common problem when heading into parks at high velocities, but when witnessed it’s most often dismissed as a shadow, a reflection, or the static electricity caused by sub-standard fabric softeners. It was this latter reason that Frank Hozz, the most famous of this park’s dancing monkeys, dismissed the high velocity disintegrating dog, as he scratched just under his monkey-suit cursing his owner’s cheap taste in laundry materials.
After a moment, he turned back to the little girl demanding he dance a very complicated breakdance move he’d been known for in this particular park when …
.. out of nowhere, like a child running on a street just before they get hit by a car, the old man from before suddenly comes sprinting into the park wearing nothing but the old greasy jacket Peppy found him in. Frank reacts quick, using his dancing skills, and positions himself in between the man and the young girl, does a spinning double twirl hop skid slam step, and …
…that was when the narrator’s voice was heard by all parties of this tale. “Frank? Who the fuck is Frank?” enquired the narrator to nobody he could hear.
“What was that? That weird disembodied voice? Who is that?” asked Peppy nervously.
The old man replied to the narrators question “Frank is the dancing monkey. Did you not listen to the story? “What we need to do is…”
BIG JOBBIES… find out why I can still hear you when you’ve just disintegrated into thin air.”
“Yeah, that was weird right? Somehow I seem to have teleported into this other dimension where I can talk and you can hear me but not see me,” replied Peppy.
“Oooooooooh, it’s that other dimension thing again,” replied Frank as a look of dawning realisation spread across his face like butter being spread across the entire continent of Africa, “Well, I’m no expert, but what I can tell you is that …”
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
“…your voice sounds a lot like Louis Gossett, Jr. I’m having an Iron Eagle moment here.”
“That’s no help!” cried Peppy. “Why is it that I’m hearing Queen’s ‘One Vision’ all of a sudden?”
And that’s when it happened. The skies darkened, the birds quieted, and all the hustle and bustle of traffic stopped. The young girl bolted to find her mother and…
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