Something silly from work today

[Version3]

A guy I work with pointed out this ad on Craigslist, as an ideal woman for someone else in the office. We had a short chuckle, then I decided to write a response.

Ad:

Quote:

Tired of Games? So Am I!!! -50

Divorced (over 20 years) White, Female seeks a Man 45 – 55 for LTR. I am tired of all the games of being alone. I spent the last twenty years watching my children grow into accomplished adults who have moved on in their own lives. I have a good heart and a kind soul and I am looking for someone interested in a long term relationship. DO NOT contact me if you are married or in a relationship already. I have been there and done that and I am not interested in going down that road again. I am a professional woman and enjoy my job (most days) I like to kickback and have a good time on the weekends. I have a passion for cooking and I also enjoy movies, music, and the outdoors. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family.

I am not height/weight proportioned nor am I obese. I can provide more pics if necessary. I have always believed it is what is inside that matters the most. If you are interested in learning more about me please email me a short note along with a pic.

So I sent back (not to the ad poster, but the person in our office):

Quote:

Dearest White 50 year old female, I was moved by your direct no nonsense ad for companionship that I discovered on Craigslist.org. I too am tired of the games that people play and am in search of another to share my experiences with. I can tell from your photo that cooking is not where your love for food ends, and that it’s likely a part of all of your other activities as well, and that is all too familiar with me. So much of what you said was easy to identify with, and sparked a sensation from deep within me that I have not known for quite some time. I did however, have Taco Bell for lunch, so I can’t be 100% sure it was your words, but I like to think it was your good heart and honest message that caused me to feel this way. I too like to unwind on weekends after a taxing week, and would love to find out what your idea of kicking back is. If things go well, maybe we could peel back our boat tarps and find true love… I’ll bring the flour and the flashlight.

.

[rob]

Holy shit, that is so horrible. It’s almost sweet until the end. Jeez, man!

[YouFollowMe]

I really want to see this guy’s pic. Does he have all his teeth?

[djohnson]

What gets me is at the end of the woman’s ad, where she says she’ll supply a picture if it’s necassary, but she thinks it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Then she goes on to ask for a picture of the potential suitor… 🙂

[Bing]

***ORDER 66 VAGRANT COMMAND COMM***
**—DECODING–**
*-MESSAGE AS FOLLOWS-*

Bing. Yoda, !!YYAA

Strong is the dark side with Bryan…dangerous is he to fat, homely women…….twisted, and evil to the wants of their massive, smelly, sweaty, stank-ridden, flabs of flesh has he become……

……powerfull Jedi is he uhmmmm…
…get him to bring Ho’s to Dagobah we must….

….(static)….

***-TRANSMISSION ENDS-***

cc: Emp Palpapotty

[Scatt]

I like how instead of saying she’s tired of the games with others, she’s “tired of all the games of being alone”. What is she talking about? Is she really tired of playing ‘hide the brush handle’ and ‘turkeybaister filled with warm milk feels like a man’?

… because I mean c’mon, I’m not.

[Author]

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