I think I may need professional help…

Splishy Splash Forums FanBoy Fodder I think I may need professional help…

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)
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  • #2740
    Avatar photorob
    Participant

    This has been going on for a long long time. I feel almost silly bringing it up, but there are times in your life that you must get some feedback from others, just to feel like you’re not the only one…

    See, the thing is — I have an almost unhealthy obsession with boobs.

    Yes, you might be saying, “Rob, I don’t know how to tell you this, but EVERY man has an obsession with boobs.” But I don’t know — sometimes, I think that I may be traveling into the realm of insanity.

    Like — do you have days when you have a hard time looking at anything else? The people I work with must think I’m a creepy dude, since I’m staring at chests all the time. I try to play it off like I’ve got something in my eye or something, but there are days when I see some chick wearing something all showy-booby, and I make sure that I either start up conversations that I wouldn’t normally have or make sure that I take certain routes to go to the bathroom just to see if I get a glimpse of something.

    Some days are worse than others. Like today, for example, is especially bad. There is a certain someone up here that started up the day by bending over to get something in front of me, and lord help me, they almost fell out. I couldn’t have been in a better position to see that magnificence in front of me. I don’t really know how well I played it off, either, because I felt like, “Wow, I hope that doesn’t happen again, because that almost gave me a boner.”

    There are days when I think that it’s impossible that anyone could be as smart as me, or whatever, but the logical side of me says, “No, there’s almost surely someone smarter than you”, because in your own head you’re comfortable, but sometimes you have to think outside of yourself to keep everything in check. But then you read things about subjectivity, about people that live their whole life thinking that what they do is normal, and then come to find out, they’re really freaks of nature. “Wow, you’re weird, I’ve never heard of someone who hums the pledge of allegiance while they take a shit”, you know?

    I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know that males are wired to like boobs (most of us, anyway), and I know that lusting after a woman or whatever is normal, but does it butt in to the rest of your day? Did any of this make you go, “Wow, Rob, you gotta do something about that — THAT’s not normal”?

    #28197
    Bing
    Participant

    Dude, I’m with you on this…Listen to Uncle Bing, just trust me. Answer these historical rhetorical questions.

    How big are your wifes boobs

    Whats the biggest pair you ever got to blubbler around in

    Go to a strip club and blubber away, then go home and read about gravity and methamphetamine use in strippers.

    I used to date a chick with bazoombas bigger than Bryan’s asscheeks (singular), but man what a bitch! I’ll take a flat chested Cheryl Crow type before that demon infested boob siren of nagging and bullshittedness

    My point is…You Like Boobs, Healthy normal behavior as long as it doesn’t interfere with your daily life. When you turn the corner to wierdo you will know.

    I remember that time…looking at a sweaterbabe and seeing how the curve of the breast was the curve of divinity, then my wife stepped into view and reality re-asserted its power.

    If you get to play with free boobs then do it and think of all the starving Chinese kids with no boobs…you selfish dick

    …Or if your are tired of your wifes boobies then……giggity

    nbliangw

    Apologies to Mrs. Michaels, she is a lovely woman and allows Rob this silly adventure. No disrepect intended.

    except the boobie part

    sorry dude you got me thinking about titties and I can’t quit, wasn’t that the point!?

    and there is your answer you perv! thinking ’bout Lark’s boyfriends saggy man-tits

    #28193
    Avatar photorob
    Participant

    Whew! I feel a little better…but, I don’t know — is Bing the barometer of sanity here?

    nbliangw

    #28198
    Avatar photoLarkitect
    Participant

    i’m pretty much the same way but with butts. humans are very sexual beings and i’m sure a lot of it just comes down to hormonal levels. there are far worse things to be obsessed with like heroin and meth.

    women are nice to look at. men are wired to enjoy looking at them. don’t worry about it, it’s all good.

    My essence still senses Bucho's women.

    #28194
    Avatar photorob
    Participant

    In all seriousness, after I do something like talk to some boobs, I think to myself, “Hmm, was that creepy?”

    I guess if you have to ask, then it probably is creepy.

    #28187
    Avatar photoBucho
    Participant

    There’s not really enough information for me to go on there Rob. If you email me a pic of the magnificence in question it’ll be much easier for me to help you.

    Help me help you.

    Email me titties.

    There’s no way this course of action can fail to help.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #28188
    Avatar photoBucho
    Participant

    Something along the lines of this?

    500full.jpg

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #28199
    Avatar photoLarkitect
    Participant

    OhMyDamn. name please? is there nakedness? please oh please let there be topless pics of her somewhere.

    My essence still senses Bucho's women.

    #28195
    Avatar photorob
    Participant

    It was more like this…seriously!
    bbsh.th.jpg

    Uploaded with ImageShack.us

    #28189
    Avatar photoBucho
    Participant

    @rob 45719 wrote:

    It was more like this…seriously!
    bbsh.th.jpg

    Uploaded with ImageShack.us

    Hmmmm … that’s certainly a good start … what else do you have that can help me help you?

    @Larkitect 45717 wrote:

    OhMyDamn. name please? is there nakedness? please oh please let there be topless pics of her somewhere.

    Apparently she’s the girl from Paranormal Activity …

    … in my pants.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #28190
    Avatar photoBucho
    Participant

    Buh … buh … buh … buuuuh …

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U62stubaal4

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #28200
    Avatar photoLarkitect
    Participant

    hello!!!

    My essence still senses Bucho's women.

    #28201
    Avatar photoLarkitect
    Participant

    13z4hhv.gif

    My essence still senses Bucho's women.

    #28191
    Avatar photoBucho
    Participant

    You know how you’ve been trying to think of a way to spend your time that would be more fulfilling than what you’ve done before Robby? What about this for an occupation?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXOtYPcC4tQ

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #28196
    Avatar photorob
    Participant

    Yeah, um…wow. There are some nice looking women there in Russia. I almost said Mother Russia, but that would make no sense since I’m, like, not Russian.

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