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When it comes to those fun little phone calls like the boys did a few decades ago, I always enjoy the calls that are at least somewhat plausible instead of completely ridiculous. For instance, instead of calling up a restaurant and asking if they have butt paste, calling up a restaurant and asking if they have cucumber Snickers.
As I think it would be great fun for the boys to make more phone calls in the future, let’s have a thread about possible ideas for such a thing. How about a call to a cleaning company asking what product would be good to clean whipped cream and human feces from the carpet?
That would be great. “Hey, uh, do you guys help with turtles?” Then before they can even respond, “See, I’ve got this turtle and it’s really constipated. It’s been eating some flies and I don’t know what else.”
Retard: My turtles head won’t come out. Can you help me Officer?
Shop Keeper: Actually I’m not an officer, I’m a shop keeper. But have you tried turning your turtle around?
One of my internet friends (Elton McManus) hosts the Apotheosis Of A Bombast Podcast. He has twice now managed to record and release conversations he has had with Indian telesales. Surprising how many times they change their own names during the course of a single phone conversation. I don’t know how he manages it though. I’ve always yelled “Fuck OFF. He’s dead!” and slammed the reciever down before thinking about recording any conversation…
BIG JOBBIESWith the turtle call, if you really want to make it work… you can’t lead with the turtle. You have to say “a member of my family”, and wait for basic advice (hoping for suppositories or something). Then talk about their small size, and will it be okay on something that small? Then, they will go with the assumption that it’s a child, and make this about something really crazy they ate. A tangent, with a really “WTF?” kind of ingestion story. Then when you circle back to the suppository, and you say, “when I just hold his tail, will I be able to see his anus, or is it deep inside it’s shell?”
Let them try to bail on you super quick now. With all of this time invested, you can keep them on the phone for a bit longer if you can keep from laughing at their shocked confusion.
If I use a can-opener on the shell, I can give it a really good spring clean.
Both conversations were fill in mini’s whilst the other host wasn’t available.
One is at http://bombastpodcast.podbean.com/2011/08/11/michael-calls/ and the other is at http://bombastpodcast.podbean.com/2011/06/28/god-calls-gets-cross/
There is a third somewhere, but I can’t find it
BIG JOBBIES
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