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I had this silly idea this morning; what if some people just randomly took on 1 or 2 traits of pets. Like, what if when this person had to go to the bathroom, they went to a nearby doorway (or even the bathroom) and just sat there, or turned circles or something like that until someone acknowledged them. Or… what if when they come out of the bathroom every time you wipe your feet just outside the door like you are “covering up”. We came up with several of these kinds of things (like hovering just out of range of someone when you want to hang out like a cat, but then walking off when you are acknowledged, or putting a “paw” on someone when they are clearly bothered by something or upset, or even trying to sit in their lap), but I decided to just start doing some of them.
1. Guy who was NOT in the room when this conversation was going on comes in (late). I went over to him and just acted generally excited to see him. “Hey Julian, how’s it going [huge grin, kinda fidgety]. I haven’t seen you in a while, how’s it going? Hey, wanna hang out? You wanna do something? You wanna maybe go outside? Wanna play catch? I love catch. Can we play catch? Can we go outside? Hi! It’s good to see you!” His reaction was awesome, especially since I got uncomfortably close to him the whole time. He kept asking me how much Red Bull I had and stuff like that. After him not really being into any of my ideas, I kinda slowly walked away head down a bit.
I’m trying to choose subtle ones, so I’m not going to sniff his crotch is stick my nose up his butthole, but I figured I’d share the ones I am doing for your entertainment. Maybe I’ll try to somehow record a few of the others ones.
I’ve got another one coming up soon with the same guy.
2. I grabbed one of the magazines for my Nerf gun (it’s hard orange plastic) and walked over to his desk with it in my mouth. I sat down in the chair adjacent to his desk and just started chewing on it loudly. Anytime he kinda looked at me and said something I’d kinda turn my face/eyes away from his and keep chewing, kinda like I was trying to obscure what I was doing. Once he asked me what I was doing, I kinda got up with it and sort of half ass hid and kept chewing on it. He got up to come near me and I ran away dropping the magazine.
3. The last one with this guy: I took a little ball and excitedly carried it over to his desk and stood next to him. I proudly dropped the ball right in front of him on his desk. He picked it up and I kind of did the excited “jump to ready” thing. He’s like “what the fuck?” and I just kept tracking the ball. He held it pretty still so I started kind of wiggling around and fidgeting… amping up the excitement. He kinda set it down toward me and I picked it up, kinda turned in a circle and put it back down in front of him. He moved it around some kinda of laughing and trying to figure out what the hell I was doing and I took it from him… backed up excited and dropped it back in front of him again. He kinda pitched it out in front of him on my desk, and I grabbed it and ran away with it excited. He FINALLY said “why are you being a dog” and I quit doing it.
Captain, you are one of my favourite people in the whole entire world for many reasons but this may trump all of them. This may even already be the best thread in SOS history. And it doesn’t even have any boobs in it yet.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
He called me last night to tell me about his many antics, and I told him that it was just nuts. I applaud his ability to stick to things like that – I know I would’ve broken character trying to do something like that. Bryan’s a special breed (no pun intended).
I’m trying to think of other animal traits previous pets have had. You’ve done the whole dog thing, and I’m left with little else.
Fish. Maybe walk up to some pebbles or something (maybe in a plant pot near by) put them in your mouth and then spit them out again.
Gerbil/Hamster. When you eat your dinner (or as we say ‘Luncheon’) don’t actually eat it. Just fill your cheeks. maybe pretend to scratch/dig on a desk top. (we don’t really say luncheon)
Chinchilla. Occasional bouts of high pitch yapping/barking noise. If you are unfamiliar there are video’s of them doing this on You Tube. They also spend a large amount of time with their own cocks in their own mouths…but I suppose if you could do that, you wouldn’t be mimicking animals…
You don’t have like a massive hamster wheel laid around the place do you?
BIG JOBBIESToday’s thing is “parrot”. Not the crappy pirate shit where you’d repeat the last word someone says and then squawk, but I’ve tried to be more like I think a parrot really is. I “learned” a word early today that someone said loudly, and now I just go through a short bit of saying that word kinda loud followed by other simple words: “simple. simple. *cough sound*, *cough sound*, *cough sound*, yeah!. simple. yeah! yeah! *cough sound*, *cough sound* —-pause—- *cough sound*, *cough sound*, yeah! yeah! yeah!” Then I bend my head toward my armpit and kinda fidget my head around, and go back to working.
Laughter tends to happen.
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