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The Bourne films are one series we haven’t discussed much around this joint, and we’ve barely heard ever being discussed on the show either – not even Robby’s awesome solo shows which often involve some good movie talk and which would make these winter days easier to get through if he did more of them.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I love the Bourne movies and I’m stoked there’s a new one from that universe and I especially love that Jeremy Renner’s in the lead spot so here’s the new trailer. It doesn’t blow me away as anything original but then neither do the Bond films and I almost always have fun with them. I figure if we cross our fingers, knock on wood and sacrifice something to Pawpaw there’s a chance we at least could get some thoughts from The Captain on the distinctive (and somewhat divisive) ways fighting is choreographed and shot in these films.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
The Bourne films have always been entertaining, but ultimately forgettable for me. It’s hard for me to keep coming back to the movies. Again, I do find them entertaining, but I guess maybe there’s just not enough substance to keep me coming back. The story seems to be a bit thin.
That being said, I am sort of looking forward to this new movie, especially with Jeremy Renner in the lead role. I have never been that impressed with him until the Avengers, and even though he didn’t have a whole lot of acting to do in that movie, he had a lot of charisma, and held up well in all of his action scenes. I’m also curious to see what they do with this series, considering it seemed to be all about Matt Damon’s character.
I would like to do more shows, but I find that my time has been spent doing things for the house, and I guess mostly just looking for jobs. It has been a very lonely, boring, ridiculous way to live lately. I really do hope that I find a job that will fulfill me soon, because I’m really getting sick of this. That being said – one of the things that I enjoy about summer the most – all of the scantily clad women about.
Yes. Sort of dumb, really. I’m like…it’s like a vortex of chaos. That’s the best way to describe it – a vortex of chaos.
I just get busy with different crap that doesn’t really matter, and then I’m like, well, I guess I cooked dinner, that’s something.
I talk about it in my most recent ::gasp:: mini-show I’m going to put out later today.
@Version3 49279 wrote:
Yeah, for an unemployed guy with no kids, you sure are busy all the damn time.
a shame a quote as good as this was wasted on a forum and not in some blockbuster comedy.
i may have to use this in real life.
My essence still senses Bucho's women.
I didn’t think I said something so profoundly funny. Perhaps it’s the degree of truth.
Oh yeah, we are talking about a movie here, right.
Fuck. That. Stupid Movie.
Oh I’ll watch it, but I’m definitely NOT expecting much from it. I do like the series even though I don’t consider them to be great films, I like them and consider at least the first one to be a good movie. This though, can’t break away from it’s heavy dependencies on the first films. It’s like a new girlfriend who spends all of her time pointing out all of the good things she does that you liked about your last girlfriend while also telling you how much better she is in every way. It’s a fucking disaster already. Then, let’s just pile on some more expensive talent for likely no damn good reason and shoot this pile of shit. But just so that people get it, let’s make sure that we pull Bourne into the story constantly, shot cut scenes from the last film for all of the dumbfucks, so that they’ll know that this is a new Bourne film, without the Bourne, but is still totally more bad asser.
The name Jason Bourne is in the trailer like 3,217 times… that’s a lot for a guy who’s not even actually in the fucking movie. Then we have the “new crew”, and our “best of the best of the best” hero. I know you guys already met the most bad ass super soldier we could have ever created…. one that was so bad ass that even when he didn’t know who the fuck he was or what he could do, he was still too bad ass to ever stop. But now we have someone who’s even more bad asser. Oh, and he’s not a total fuckup like that last guy. This guy has laser-guided punches, blood made of super heated plasma and he’s genetically engineered to be like a super fighting soldier ant-eater hybrid or some shit. He’s gonna be like supah bad assierest! He’s a Bourne killer… a Bourne bad ass… get it? Do you get it? Do you see what we did there?
Why is everyone Renner crazy? Was he really THAT good in “I’m gonna disarm bombs with my nuts because I crave the life I’ve been trapped in, and don’t know how to go back to the real world” movie? I think he was good… but not only was it more a product of directing, but it’s underscored by the awards it was nominated for. Renner was a good tool for the job, but he didn’t single-handedly channel the one thing nobody ever gets right… a team of people with the right approach set out to do that. I say he’s good, but I don’t get excited because he’s in a movie… I just recognize him and I’m typically fine with him being there. He’s like Ryan Gossling for me… he can do it, but he’s likely never gonna be one of the greats, he’ll be just fine as one of the known.
Back to the stupid movie… it’s literally the other three movies shoved in a blender with a new guy photoshopped into the main role. The program chatter is too constant, the secret program crap is going to be too much, the action is going to be forced and likely will run beside the plot rather than support driving it and worst of all… I don’t see one fight sequence in there that supports the idea that this guy who is the most bad assierest of all of the weapons we’ve created can fight off a push pack of girl scouts at cookie time, much less an entire govt agency looking to kill him.
Fucking. Stupid.
But if I watched Contraband with that cardboard cutout Marky Mark, I’ll watch this piece of shit.
Oh and Bucho… if you want me to talk more about the series… let me climb down off the mile high soap box, and go have a sammich and I’ll see what thoughts I can string together.
I was more impressed with Renner during The Town than The Hurt Locker. I haven’t seen Mission: Impossible Tom and Tall Building yet – maybe he’s good in that, too.
I read that this new movie is supposed to be going on at the same time as the third Bourne film. It explains there being so much of the original shit in the trailer, and the name Jason Bourne being in practically every line of dialogue. It also explains why I think this movie will suck bull penis in space.
I was the other way round with Hurt Locker Captain, I thought the direction had been generally over-praised and Renner was great. What sold me on him was that he was tits in Mission Impossible: Tom and Tall Building, good comedic delivery and timing and a very believable action dude. That whole cast was great actually. I haven’t seen The Town yet. I don’t expect to see the sort of range from Renner’s career that Matt Damon has shown throughout his but like Rob says he has a good deal of big screen charisma and it’ll be fun to watch him tearing shit up in a film like this.
Admittedly most of my love of the Bourne series comes from the first film but I liked a lot of things from the other films too. The shaky cam fight scenes don’t really float my boat but the general gritty vibe sells me on that World’s Most Badass Agent vs Corrupt Government Agency thing. When they came out the vast majority of action films had some level of camp, which I don’t have any problem with, it’s just that The Bourne Identity was a breath of fresh, hard air into the genre and the other two rode that.
I’m interested to see how Tony Gilroy plays it too. I haven’t seen Duplicity but I thought Michael Clayton was really damn good and he’s obviously balls-deep in Bourne from having co-written the others. I really think it’s going to be a fun film.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
Duplicity was meh, but entertaining while it lasted – like a blowjob from an ugly fat girl. It does the job, but you’re not necessarily going to brag about it. I mean, she was nice and all, but it’s not like one would have to have a lasting relationship with her. Who would want to be with her long term? She’s not exactly gross or anything, like smelling like a wet bag of corned beef hash or something – she actually smells quite good. It’s just – how many times can you really read Twilight? Not well written, and I guess you could call it original if you consider the vampires to be like emo sprinkles on a Care Bear, but damn, seriously? And there’s only so many times you can go to a Renaissance festival, too. Cosplay’s become sort of a normal thing in this comicy day and age, but if the only way you can fit into that bustier you have is by stuffing your tits into it with a crowbar and vegetable shortening so they look like two balloons filled with day-old gravy sitting in two salad bowls, maybe you should think about something else to do in the springtime.
Huh? Oh.
So yeah, Duplicity was…uh, yeah, not too memorable.
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