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Since we’ve posted almost everything else, I figured you guys might like this one now too:
http://blogs.amctv.com/scifi-scanner/2009/08/bad-designs-in-star-wars.php
Next well have to post Jawa sex, competitive Ewok launching and Count the Dingleberries in Chewie’s fur.
Who dodges a blaster bolt? I’ve heard all the other ones before but I don’t remember anyone dodging these supposed slow blaster bolts.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
Maybe he is talking about Jedi deflecting them, or the idea that Han could dodge it in the George Lucas re-imagined scenes.
I always took the jedi deflecting as being the result of jedis being awesome at reading the body/weapon position of the enemy to predict the shot so they could move to block before it’s even fired, not that they somehow reacted once the trigger’s pulled. And Greedo missing Han I just took as Greedo being a crappy shot. Or maybe Han kicks Greedo’s leg under the table to provoke the shot and moves before the trigger’s pulled.
Sorry, I refuse to give them that one, there’re too many obvious outs, but the others are all just fine and dandy and ridiculous.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
Oh, I know the Jedi are supposed to sense the intent of the shooter through the Force, I was just suggesting that maybe that had something to do with what the author’s beef was. But as I understand it, blasters are shooting plasma bolts, which are matter… not light, and therefore do not travel at the speed of light, but are ignited as they are shot.
Anyway, the thing I was saying with Han, was that in one of the 19 versions of the Greedo scene, Han’s head moves to dodge the shot. So yeah. In related news I have fashioned a working blaster out of exhaust components, plumbing supplies, lava and conviction and plan to travel to Mos Isley to shoot that green bastard’s face off for being… well a green bastard. You may not hear from me for a while, because the post-Greedo shooting era will surely have me assuming the throne of bar drunks, and conquering the sand for miles around. I’ll try to check the board as often as my fantasy will allow.
Yeah Bing it’s pretty good. It’s almost as awesome as my face is, now that I’ve had that keen Kirk Douglas dimple implanted into my forehead. Sure people can call me dent face, dimple head, or Rob, but chicks dig guys that are unique… and with this butthole right in the middle of my head I’m a sexy unique mother fucker.
I never knew that about blasters. God I want one.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
I know I’m a Star-Wars and Trek fan but…
Why not put a pedal on the bottom of the R2, he looks like a pedal bin and if he had thrusters, then why bother with the routine of climbing the stairs at Naboo….Oh, hang on, it could be classed as an upgrade.
Stormtrooper armour – never mind a blaster, go at them with a soldering iron.
Lightsabers – It’s light, what the hell stops it from carrying on longer than it is? (aka, John Holmes syndrome)
Sarlaac – Even in the desert, someone believes in Vagina Dentata (grin)
If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.
the lightsaber thing is interesting. never thought about that.
speaking of vagina dentata, ever seen the movie ‘teeth’?
My essence still senses Bucho's women.
I’ve thought about the saber length many times, and the field that controls the ‘blade’ had an end, because the power applied to it limits it’s distance. In fact, Vader’s light saber is a heavily modified and customized model, as the length of the ‘blade’ can be changed. As I understand it, the theory behind the saber involves focusing this energy, plasma or whatever the fuck it is, through a special stone or gem, that produces this controlled field. For Vader’s, there are three of these gems. One of the ‘things’ with the Sith, is supposed to be their modified sabers… hence the double-sided saber of Maul, the curved handle of Tyranus and such. One of the ‘things’ about me is that I’m really good at having only 1/8th of the information needed to sound like I know what I’m talking about, and in certain circles, I’m well known to be a good ‘catch’. By ‘catch’ of course I mean ‘curse’.
I was recently reading one of the Larry Niven Ring World prequel novels, and they have a sword which is a monofilament with a little ball on the end which lets you know where the blade ends. It’s supposed to be a leftover artifact from an ancient race.
@Version3 41129 wrote:
I’ve thought about the saber length many times, and the field that controls the ‘blade’ had an end, because the power applied to it limits it’s distance. In fact, Vader’s light saber is a heavily modified and customized model, as the length of the ‘blade’ can be changed. As I understand it, the theory behind the saber involves focusing this energy, plasma or whatever the fuck it is, through a special stone or gem, that produces this controlled field. For Vader’s, there are three of these gems. One of the ‘things’ with the Sith, is supposed to be their modified sabers… hence the double-sided saber of Maul, the curved handle of Tyranus and such. One of the ‘things’ about me is that I’m really good at having only 1/8th of the information needed to sound like I know what I’m talking about, and in certain circles, I’m well known to be a good ‘catch’. By ‘catch’ of course I mean ‘curse’.
ah yes, the ‘kaiburr crystal’. introduced in a 1978 book. splinter of the mind’s eye.
My essence still senses Bucho's women.
Yeah, that’s the one! It was continued through many of the books, including the ones that introduced me to the concept (I went back to read Splinter later) Timothy Zahn books, Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising and The Last Command. Always thought it was funny how in those books Luke was still a little bitch and the chicks always had to save his ass (didn’t this happen when Luke actually crossed the dark side too, with Leia doing the saving bit?).
When I was really little, and thought that SW was the coolest shit ever (wait, when I was little?) I remember after Empire, my mom was reading Splinter of the Mind’s Eye. As I recall, she said it was pretty slow.
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