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Who the Hell cares who listens to SOS–Last Man Standing

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Who the Hell cares who listens to SOS–Last Man Standing

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  • #758
    Bing
    Participant

    This is it boys, the final battle. Good versus evil, bad taste versus purity, smelly versus clean, Jedi versus Sith, A-cups versus DDD’s….

    But enough about Jerry and Darth Octavious..let’s get to it shall we? Questions may be answered in any form and in any order, feel free to leave out any questions you wish, as well as add any you feel should be included. Nothing is safe, there are no rules, pull no punches…….here we go.

    -When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?

    -During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?

    -which goes on first pants or socks?
    -fasten then zip or zip then fasten?

    -You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?

    -Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.

    -You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.

    -If Rob was an animal what would he be?
    -If Jerry was a food what would he be?
    -If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be?

    -What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it?

    -choose one:
    Rob for Prez….even though he ain’t gay
    Bryan for Prom Queen…cause his dog’s a whore
    Jerry needs a grammy…..fuck grandpa
    (or add your own)

    -(El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) =

    -Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball?

    -Every time I think of SOS I ____ until _____. Those _____ get me ______ all the _______ unless I can ______ my _______.

    -My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time________.

    Ah-aight ya’ll that’s all you get….

    Nuthin but love……..in a non-gay way.

    -bing.

    #10281
    Version3
    Keymaster

    Who the heck is this for???

    #10288
    Bing
    Participant
    Version3 wrote:
    Who the heck is this for???

    this is a free for all, anyone can participate….

    …thought I said that

    …I thought wrong too….

    #10285
    Octavious
    Participant
    Bing wrote:
    This is it boys, the final battle. Good versus evil, bad taste versus purity, smelly versus clean, Jedi versus Sith, A-cups versus DDD’s….

    But enough about Jerry and Darth Octavious..let’s get to it shall we?
    What are you saying? I am small chested clean Sith with purity and Smelly Jedi Jerry with bad taste and huge knockers?

    When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?
    -If she notices and continues great, if not, well at least I got her that far!

    During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?
    -Bite my tongue, pinching my leg!

    which goes on first pants or socks?
    -Socks

    fasten then zip or zip then fasten?
    -Fasten/Zip

    You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?
    -Yes

    Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.
    -Can’t remember the first time. But I do remember the times I got kick in the nuts while playing soccer. Smacked when I was riding my bike and I didn’t land on the seat.

    You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.
    -Take money out of bank, look at some fine ladies, if you know what I mean, burn down a house. Drive a car to get the cops going and confused.

    -If Rob was an animal what would he be? -Hyena
    -If Jerry was a food what would he be? – Cold Cut Sub
    -If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be? – Comedy

    What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it?
    -Short, informative, and Funny (non Rusty)

    choose one:
    -Bing…genius …because Einstein is retarded

    (El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) = WTF, I never took my Regents exams?!

    Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball?
    -To pay off debt plus extra cash.

    Every time I think of SOS I listen until the show is over. Those motherfuckers get me in the mood all the time unless I can get my real-doll to give me head.

    My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time I burnt the sauce on the stove.

    #10280
    Version3
    Keymaster

    -When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?

    Oh, I’d stop it… but only to suggest we move to a piece of furniture for the ‘finale’. I’d crop dust her dog on the way to said furniture.

    -During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?

    I’d look behind me like a dead body fell out of the sky.

    -which goes on first pants or socks?
    -fasten then zip or zip then fasten?

    Fasten, check, zip re-check.

    -You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?

    Sure, my dog’s a whore anyway.

    -Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.

    I don’t know about the ‘first’ time, but the most memorable happened sometime in 11th grade. Two kids were on bikes and mouthing off as we drove past. I got out and starting yelling back. Was about to square off with one of them, when he scoots aside and the other guy is launching a very long swing kick into my nuts. I lost contact with the ground. I did not fall down, and it did not hurt… yet. They ran, got on bikes and I got my footing and chased after for about 300 or so feet. Then the heat started… then the pressure. Then the curling up in the fetal position. My friends placed me in my own car and drove me home. I stayed home from school for two days because I couldn’t stand or walk very well.

    -You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.

    I’d find a full-length mirror and get behind a corner and jump out and say “ha!” for about 2 hours. I’d probably do this for 6 days before I finally came up with a plan to stalk Selma Hayek which of course would fail because I’d have to waste my last day of invisibility sneaking on the plan to get to wherever she is. I’d get frustrated, wait until the next day, sneak back on an airplane and do the “ha” thing again everyday, but this time near a Fredrick’s of Hollywood changing room.

    -If Rob was an animal what would he be?

    I can agree with the Hyena because of the laugh, but since no animals make me laugh that much, I’ll say a circus bear. 😀

    -If Jerry was a food what would he be?

    Something really weird… two things you like, but that don’t really go together. Like Fried Chicken with chocolate sauce.

    -If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be?

    I don’t feel I should answer my own question, but let’s go with ‘Porn’. Really great in small doses, but gets old, predictable and really cheesy if it goes on forever.

    -What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it?

    Boob flash of course (number written across them, duh!). No I haven’t, but maybe I should.

    -choose one:
    Rob for Prez….even though he ain’t gay
    Bryan for Prom Queen…cause his dog’s a whore
    Jerry needs a grammy…..fuck grandpa
    (or add your own)

    Bing for show Mascot, because he’d look funny as a big furry costume!

    -(El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) = Bing, or the end of the universe. Shit, did I carry the one?

    -Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball? Are you saying you have a cannon right now?

    I don’t often listen to our show, so I just MadLibbed this one
    -Every time I think of SOS I spew until reflective donuts fall. Those jewish settlers get me rolling in flour all the live long days unless I can catapult my genitals.

    -My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time________.

    I haven’t had a lot of trauma in the kitchen, but I’ll get back to you all when I do.

    #10284
    Pa-ul
    Participant

    -When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?
    That depends on the decibel level it’s going to achieve. If it’s going to sound like exhaled breath i’d say and do nothing (except grin). If it was going to sound like a 747 take-off, I’d ask if she likes war films (shortly followed by me yelling “FIRE IN THE HOLE”).

    -During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?
    I’d imagine that there’s a hole at the back of the seat and that I’d dropped a two Megaton dump on the floor.

    -which goes on first pants or socks?
    Pants

    -fasten then zip or zip then fasten?
    zip, fasten, re-zip then look down (just in case).

    -You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?
    No. I would’nt want the dog getting it into it’s head that it could hump peoples legs if we threw a party (Ammusing as it may be)

    -Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.
    The first time the fleshy kiwi fruits have ever seen combat was whilst I was at school. I was walking (and balancing) along a 1 inch thick railing, about 200 metres long. I hit a patch that was wet and lost my balance (it was, I was told, funny to watch as I turned this way and that, waving my arms about trying to impersonate a helicopter, and finally losing it and instead of falling I fell, legs open, onto the railings. The metal railings resonated with the impacted, and I rolled off to one side with a feeling like my nuts were in my lungs.

    -You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.
    This is assuming that your clothes become invisible as well, hate for it to wear off and be naked in a city centre.
    I’d get a great deal of ammusement from tweaking womens butts and watching the nearest man get a smack round the kisser.
    Then there’s the knocking off Policemens hats, with the same effect.
    Womens changing rooms, checking who goes in before hand. Would’nt like to scream with fright.
    Going to a seance or a supposed haunted house and moving stuff around should freak a few people out.

    -If Rob was an animal what would he be? – A Chimpanzee, resourceful and funny (I also get this image of the old Tarzan series, where Cheetah laughs hysterically).
    -If Jerry was a food what would he be? – Ribs, good with the fingers and the best addition to any meal.
    -If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be? – Something along the genre of Mythbusters, a good source of comedy and information.

    -What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it?
    Get some girl to do it in a slow, seductive and sultry voice. Have I done it? No, but I can do slow, that’s about it.

    -choose one:
    Rob for Prez….even though he ain’t gay
    Bryan for Prom Queen…cause his dog’s a whore
    Jerry needs a grammy…..fuck grandpa
    (or add your own)

    S.O.S for their own state …..Lets see those laws.

    -(El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) = That’s gonna be one seriously disturbing mix, now this is why human cloning and DNA experiments are banned.

    -Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball?
    I’d do it for the fun of it. Provided I could be fired into a lake that’s deep enough (with no biting fish). Or to add to the fun effect, set the cannon to a low angle and see if I could skip across the waters surface like a flat stone.

    -Every time I think of SOS I laugh until blue. Those comedians get me excited all the time unless I can shave my balls.

    -My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time.
    Tough one, so I’ll do both.
    1. I was cutting an unsliced bread loaf and misjudged the cut (try to picture the experience of having a sharp, serated blade bouncing off your finger bone)
    2. I was trying to get some cake mixture off the blades of the hand power whisk. Granted I should have switched it off, then my finger would’nt have gone into it (not same finger as above).


    If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.

    #10282
    Bucho
    Participant

    -When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?

    I say, “Wait here baby, I got a special surprise for you,” head for the kitchen, release the valve and return with chocolate sauce. And a monkey.

    -During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?

    SOS announcing final ever show. AKA the end of the world.

    -which goes on first pants or socks?

    Fishnets. Pants. Diving helmet.

    -fasten then zip or zip then fasten?

    I don’t trust zips. They think they’re so fuckin cool, all “look at me I can link together,” then they fail at the exact wrong moment. That’s why I use superglue.

    -You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?

    I trust my dog but I wouldn’t let her anywhere near my walrus.

    -Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.

    Riding my bike, about 8 years old, the bike stops suddenly and me and my nads come to a just as sudden halt against the gooseneck. For at least a week I had bigger balls than Laird Hamilton. I still use the photos to get chicks.

    -You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.

    Day 1: Visit girls changing rooms/showers at a gym.

    Day 2: Visit girls changing rooms/showers at another gym.

    Day 3: Visit girls changing rooms/showers at a field hockey park.

    Day 4: Visit library and blow in hot librarian’s ears.

    Day 5: Wait at traffic lights for boy racers to stop. Let down tires. Find one with window down. Reach in and take keys. Drop keys into drain.

    Day 6: Head into a mall. Start with innocently tipping people’s drinks into their laps and icecreams off cones in the food courts. Find a woman with a pram. Take the baby out and make it fly around until I get tired. Steal jewellery.

    Day 7: Kick gangstas in the nuts.

    -If Rob was an animal what would he be?

    Lindsay Lohan’s pussy.

    -If Jerry was a food what would he be?

    A full roast. Hearty, wholesome, healthy, talented and unpredictably hilarious. You know, one of those talented, hilarious roasts.

    -If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be?

    A cross between huge variety show, a circus, Letterman and astronaut porn. Whaaaaaat …?

    -What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it?

    Can’t ring it from NZ, I’ve tried, but if I was in the US I’d paint it on the side of the space shuttle. Or Oprah Winfrey.

    -choose one:
    Rob for Prez….even though he ain’t gay
    Bryan for Prom Queen…cause his dog’s a whore
    Jerry needs a grammy…..fuck grandpa
    (or add your own)

    Bing for more regular guest on the phone with SOS … cause he talks like an angel.

    -(El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) =

    The sexiest boyband the world has ever known.

    -Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball?

    Anything that would result in getting me sponge bathed.

    -Every time I think of SOS I ____ until _____. Those _____ get me ______ all the _______ unless I can ______ my _______.

    Every time I think of SOS I squeal like a schoolgirl until I faint like a schoolgirl. Those fucking awesome legends of podcasting get me laid all the time unless I can afford my very own real doll.

    -My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time________.

    I tried to use a vibrator to fight off a midnight attack by ninjas. Oh wait …

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #10283
    rob
    Participant
    Quote:
    -When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?

    I’d say, “hold on a sec, honey.” Then I’d proceed to in one swift motion lift my legs up as far as I can while I simultaneously grab her head and place it as close to my stinkhole as close as possible and let ‘er rip. If she gets grossed out and leaves, well, fuck her, man. Sharing is a part of any relationship.

    Quote:
    -During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?

    I couldn’t. I’d probably stand up and point.

    Quote:
    -which goes on first pants or socks?

    Pants

    Quote:
    -fasten then zip or zip then fasten?

    Fasten then zip. That’s what fat dudes have to do.

    Quote:
    -You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?

    My grandma’s dead, so leaving my dog chained up outside to a gravestone doesn’t sound too civilized.

    Quote:
    -Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.

    My friends in high school used to play a game where they would just hit one of us in the groinage whenever we least expected it. I never had a really bad one, but I always thought that game was stupid.

    Quote:
    -You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.

    Since I feel any truthful answer to this question might incriminate me in the future, I reserve the right to plead the fifth.

    Quote:
    -If Rob was an animal what would he be?

    I’ve always thought that the closest animal to my personality was a Jack Russel terrier. (Boing, boing, boing)

    Quote:
    -If Jerry was a food what would he be?

    Since there are no extremely talented and funny foods, I will also refrain from answering this question.

    Quote:
    -If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be?

    I’m unable to answer this question as well as it would be detrimental to my mission. Have you ever heard of black ops?

    Quote:
    -What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it?

    A lineup of perfectly shaped naked women with each number written on their backs. If I’d done this, I’d have already been assassinated.

    Quote:
    -choose one:
    Rob for Prez….even though he ain’t gay
    Bryan for Prom Queen…cause his dog’s a whore
    Jerry needs a grammy…..fuck grandpa
    (or add your own)

    SOS – more consistent than a jug of raisins.

    Quote:
    -(El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) =

    calculus.jpg

    Quote:
    -Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball?

    If there’s a net on the other side and Lindsay Lohan waiting patiently for my landing to rip my clothes off and rip one in her face.

    Quote:
    -Every time I think of SOS I ____ until _____. Those _____ get me ______ all the _______ unless I can ______ my _______.

    Every time I think of SOS I laugh until I cry. Those Joe Cocker impersonations get me cackling like a bootie-bitch all the time unless I can blindfold my ocular cavities. Gosh, that’s stupid.

    Quote:
    -My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time________.

    True story – not with a kitchen appliance, but it was in the kitchen. I was eight. One candle of three had gone out, and instead of lighting it with another, I got a Post-It to light the other candle. When the flame ignited I freaked out and threw it in the garbage. I ran to get my dad and he put out the growing inferno using the sprayer from the sink. I didn’t get in trouble or anything. Back then, I wasn’t really quick under pressure. But yeah, fire bad!

    #10290
    Armez
    Participant

    This is too hard for stupid people like me?

    until you do, I’ll be watching clown porn…

    #10286
    YouFollowMe
    Participant

    -When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?
    I’d fart in her mouth, and then say “How’d that taste, bitch?” Yeah, I’m really that nasty.

    -During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?
    I’d think of millions of crying dolphin babies that lost their tails in gruesome stunt diving accidents.

    -which goes on first pants or socks?
    Socks.
    -fasten then zip or zip then fasten?
    Zip then fasten. We’re talking about my human disguise, right?

    -You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?
    I’d put a lobster trap over the dog’s “grandma entrance area”.

    -Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.
    It was just after my operation, so I was still getting used to the ol’ dangler and marbles. When I was a woman, I used to play a game called “hit the babymaker.” I tried it as a man, and it knocked me out cold.

    -You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.
    Week one would basically consist of getting people dirty and oral pleasure, although not necessarily in that order.

    -If Rob was an animal what would he be? Sex panther.

    -If Jerry was a food what would he be? A big juicy hamburger with lunch lady hair in the middle.

    -If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be?Ummm…, twin Eskimo sluts?

    -What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it? Write it on someone’s forehead when they are sleeping. No, I haven’t.

    -choose one:

    Jerry needs a grammy…..fuck grandpa

    -(El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) = Elbuchopshe?

    -Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball? If the landing zone consisted of hot nurses.

    -Every time I think of SOS I masturbate until hammer time. Those grizzly bears get me disemboweled all the time unless I can reach my blowgun.

    -My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time the microwave held me hostage

    #10287
    Bing
    Participant

    I’m gonna need surgery after reading these answers, I think I cracked a rib laughing.

    #10289
    Frank
    Participant

    My two cents:

    Bing wrote:
    This is it boys, the final battle. Good versus evil, bad taste versus purity, smelly versus clean, Jedi versus Sith, A-cups versus DDD’s….

    But enough about Jerry and Darth Octavious..let’s get to it shall we? Questions may be answered in any form and in any order, feel free to leave out any questions you wish, as well as add any you feel should be included. Nothing is safe, there are no rules, pull no punches…….here we go.

    -When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?

    Hell no, you never stop! See if you can get her to ‘hurry up’ or the thing that ends it quickly for all women, ‘I’m about to come ….’ At least, that’s been my experience.

    Bing wrote:
    -During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?

    Bing running around in his man-panties on spring break screaming out for the funnel. Wait, I’m not supposed to laugh? Oh well, too late for that.

    Bing wrote:
    -which goes on first pants or socks?

    How can you get your socks on over your pants? I guess you can … would be an interesting fashion statement.

    Bing wrote:
    -fasten then zip or zip then fasten?

    Fasten first, then CAREFULLY … FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY CAREFULLY … zip.

    Bing wrote:
    -You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?

    Don’t have a dog, but I don’t think I’m going to visiting grandma’s house anymore during “Goat Party Tuesdays.”

    Bing wrote:
    -Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.

    I was in elementary school and some girl just ran up to me and smacked me directly in the nuts. True story. Don’t know why she did it, or why it took an extra three years for me to go through puberty, but I’m still scared by how much that hurt. That was a new kinda hurt. Interesting side note, though. That girl is now living in some trailer in South Carolina with four kids, living off welfare … oh yeah, the four kids are with five different guys (math wiz, do the math).

    Bing wrote:
    -You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.

    Monday – Visit a girl I know at work who has the most amazing breasts I’ve, unfortunately, never seen.
    Tuesday – Go to work and get the two guys I absolutely hate fired by doing some of the most eat-up shit.
    Wednesday – Visit the most expensive restaurant in town, Applebee’s (that’s a joke), and walk out without paying.
    Thursday – Make some serious money off the college kids, with the ‘I bet I can turn invisible’ bet.
    Friday – While covering the high school football game, give the fans a real treat by helping the cheerleaders with their performances – evil laugh inserted here.
    Saturday – Sleep in, I’m tired, dammit! I’m only one man!
    Sunday – Freak out the cops by going 150 in the interstate, pulling over and “Oh my god, no one’s there!” That would be the new video hitting the Web … Ghost Car 2! woooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Bing wrote:
    -If Rob was an animal what would he be?

    Ruby-throated South American warbler – Simpsons reference

    Bing wrote:
    -If Jerry was a food what would he be?

    le Gateaux St.Honore

    Bing wrote:
    -If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be?

    Game show, definitely game show.

    Bing wrote:
    -What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it?

    Every time you order out, give them the SOS voicemail number instead of your own.

    Bing wrote:
    -choose one:
    Rob for Prez….even though he ain’t gay
    Bryan for Prom Queen…cause his dog’s a whore
    Jerry needs a grammy…..fuck grandpa
    (or add your own)

    Or … AAYYYYYY, Switched:on! BING!

    Bing wrote:
    -(El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) =

    I’m waiting for Stephen Hawking to call me back on this one. Me and Stee-Hawk are tight.

    Bing wrote:
    -Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball?

    Monica Belluci: “Oh Frank, I love guys who are human cannonballs. If you did it, ooooo, I don’t know what I’d do ….”

    Bing wrote:
    -Every time I think of SOS I ____ until _____. Those _____ get me ______ all the _______ unless I can ______ my _______.

    “Every time I think of SOS I cry until I think of something else. Those episodes get me depressed all the fucking time unless I can turn off my computer. — Just kidding, love you guys.

    Bing wrote:
    -My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time________.

    I damn near cut myself in half trying to open a bag with a giant-ass butcher knife point at my stomach. Long story, but I didn’t get cut in half.

    Bing wrote:
    Ah-aight ya’ll that’s all you get….

    Nuthin but love……..in a non-gay way.

    -bing

    Wow, that took a long time. Enjoy!

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