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Whatever you do — don’t watch Antichrist…

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Whatever you do — don’t watch Antichrist…

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Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #2159
    rob
    Participant

    I know just by saying that, some will want to watch it. But rest assured, I haven’t felt so frustrated by a movie in a long long time.

    Antichrist is a new movie from Lars von Trier. It’s gotten a lot of attention for being graphic and shocking. But graphic and shocking don’t mean anything without any substance.

    Let me set it up for you — Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourgh are the only actors in the movie. I don’t believe they are ever named, so I will call them He and She. It starts with them having explicit sex. And by explicit, I mean there’s a quick shot of hardcore genitalia stuff. Ooh. It’s all shot like the old Calvin Klein Obsession commercials — extreme slow motion in black and white.

    Well, while they’re getting it on, their child escapes from his crib and finds his way to the window, where he jumps to his death, presumably at the time She orgasms. Wow.

    What follows is an extremely slow paced boring movie, with She slowly going mad. He is a psychiatrist, so instead of grieving himself, he turns his attention into trying to fix his wife. There’s just no point. Or maybe there is…

    I will not reveal what happens. I will say that there is extremely graphic genital mutilation, and it’s just nuts (no pun intended).

    Apparently the director is a misogynist, because She comes to the conclusion that all women are inherently evil, so I guess She has to prove it. She does some amazingly ridiculous stuff, and Lars decides he wants to see it all in graphic gory detail.

    Again, this is one of those movies that wouldn’t even get close to the attention it’s getting now for if it weren’t for the hardcore second in the first scene or the mutilation of body parts in the third act. It’s just so damn ridiculous…and people are praising it for being adventurous. In the trailer, there’s a quote by Roger Ebert (the closest to a sane movie critic I’ve ever read) that says something about the director “shaking him awake” or “opening his eyes” or some shit. I don’t need any of that — if the story’s shit, there’s no amount of gore or graphic sex or CG or ANYTHING that’s going to make me turn around and say, “Oh, that was worth it.”

    I was also told not to watch it, and in classic Rob form, I said fuck it, I’m going to. And I wish I hadn’t. Did you guys see Revolutionary Road, with Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet last year? Great movie, but I will never, EVER watch it again. So depressing. Imagine that movie mixed with the most pointless and graphic gore of movies like Saw and Hostel, and you’re getting close to, in my opinion, one of the worst movies I’ve seen in years.

    EDIT: I didn’t even mention that the title “Antichrist” doesn’t have anything to do with anything religious at all. Apparently “She” is as bad as the Antichrist. I don’t know a whole lot about Satan, but I believe he would be a bit more subtle…

    #24405
    digitaltopia
    Participant

    This is one movie I’ll skip, but your comments about the lack of story brought something to mind that I was talking about yesterday.

    There are some really good movies today, that’s true. Like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, though I don’t know if they exactly count because they’re based on good books. Maybe this is just my perception, but it seems like despite the few good ones, the majority of movies that come out these days are crap. They’re just a thin framework to hang special effects and action on. Not that there’s anything wrong with a movie like that, if that’s what you’re in the mood for.

    But I was thinking back to the 80s movies and it seems to me for the most part a lot of the 80s movies had much more story than the movies these days have. Beyond the added magic of having a guy in an animatronic suit walking around instead of just a CG creature so it seems much more organic, those movies just seemed to have more story and more magic.

    #24402
    rob
    Participant

    You’ve hit it, man…I mean, what movie would you rather watch, Raiders or Transformers? Shit…I think I’d rather with Kingdom of the Crystal Dumbasses again than watch Transformers, and it just shouldn’t be like that.

    I think I may have helped the Hollywood douches put out all this shit…I think I saw ID4 like 4 or 5 times when it was in theaters, and that movie is total shit.

    #24409
    Larkitect
    Participant

    thanks for the warning. unfortunately i watched it last night. boy does willem defoe love getting his wang out there on film.

    yes it was very bad, but i have to say i loved what she did to his leg.

    i will never be watching this one again.

    i mean, just calling your film ‘antichrist’ doesn’t magically imbue it with deep or hidden meaning. there are many films like this that do have layers that the dedicated and perceptive viewer can extract. but in this movie there is none. there is no substance. i am thoroughly convinced of this. the guy did what i used to do on essay tests that i didn’t study for. my technique worked most of the time. this director’s technique did not. he wanted to come out and be one of those ‘artsy’ directors that is only talked about in hushed whispers of envy and awe. i defy anyone to suggest a cohesive theme present throughout the film.

    rob, i respect you as an avid (rabid?) movie fan but i must protest your lack of respect for transformers. :p

    My essence still senses Bucho's women.

    #24403
    rob
    Participant

    I’ve bitched so much about Transformers…it’s just almost not worth it anymore. I absolutely despise that movie.

    I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels that way about the movie…just trash. And, uh…that’s not his wang. It’s a “stunt” wang.

    #24404
    rob
    Participant

    I’ve bitched so much about Transformers…it’s just almost not worth it anymore. I absolutely despise that movie.

    I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels that way about the movie…just trash. And, uh…that’s not his wang. It’s a “stunt” wang.

    #24406
    digitaltopia
    Participant

    When they show the “intimate” close-ups, it’d be funny if they used muppets.

    #24401
    Bucho
    Participant

    Wait … Willem Dafoe gets his wang out? I’m there.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #24408
    Bing
    Participant

    It’s Denis Leary not Willem Dafoe…..

    or maybe they are the same person

    #24410
    Larkitect
    Participant

    this is a stunt wang.

    My essence still senses Bucho's women.

    #24407
    digitaltopia
    Participant

    Ooo.

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