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Weirdness and Such from the Dark Lord of Octavious

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Weirdness and Such from the Dark Lord of Octavious

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    AAYY! Ya’ll, Bing.

    Newman requested our next victim as the heroic Scatt…I’m still working on a few questions for you Scatt, maybe by Friday night it’ll be your turn..(study hard)

    but for now I think a new twist is in order…the dreaded ESSAY EXAM!!!!
    ..and just because I think he’s slicker’n snot on a sliding board….its time to do the Darth..Octavious that is…..

    Okay D.O. one question to be answered in essay form (that means long and wordy to you “ignert” vagrants)

    “In Star Wars the prequel trilogy we are introduced to the idea of “Balance” in the force. Using only canonical evidence (no EU B.S.) compare and contrast the ideologies of the Jedi and the Sith in regards to maintaining what YOU think is the proper balance of the Force, use parallels to modern theologies as well as at least one metal bikini reference and no more than 2 reasons why Jar Jar should be made to live out the rest of his years at the bottom of a porta-potty in July being used only by people eating a steady diet of chili, beans, cheese, spinach, and MetaMucil.”

    …good luck
    oh…and Han shot first.


    You never disappoint, Bing.


    Keep ’em coming Bing, I can honestly say I am eagerly hoping that I get chosen for the coveted Who The Hell Listens To Switched ON Show questions. Maybe I can just do it myself, like Bush in Florida.

    The South will rise again, with Bing as it’s leader!!


    You know Bing, I was in Myrtle Beach the other day, I should’ve stop by. Y’all have my answer soon.


    The Balance of the Force. The meaning of something to be in balance; is to even out. So when Mace Windu says in Episode 1 “bring Balance to the Force” because the prophecy said so, first, one has to wonder, who was the one who said it. In Episode 2, Mace Windu assured Obi-Wan that according to the prophecy, that Anakin was the Chose One and “bring the Force back into Balance.” It seems that everybody wants to make sure the Obi-Wan is told that its Anakin is the one to bring Balance to force and they are sure of it. Even when Obi-Wan dares to question Mace Windu in Episode 3 “isn’t he the Chosen One and bring Balance to the Force.” But at the end of Sith, it was Obi-Wan with egg on his face crying to Anakin “it was said, you bring Balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!”

    Don’t you think its odd that the Jedi, the many and the proud (before Order 66), are the ones are saying that the Force needs to be Balanced by one, a Chosen One. While the Sith don’t saying anything and they are two, no more – no less. So what the Jedi are saying, that are not as strong as they thought, they need the Chosen One to balance the Force between light and dark. Damn, Anakin is powerful. Maybe the one who said the “prophecy” was a Sith Lord, Anakin’s father? Which brings to another point. Anakin is the Chosen One, marries Padme and has twins. In 20 some years there is another balance, when Leia wears a metal bikini to balance her breast in front of Luke and Han, and yes Han shot first (if you know what I mean). Don’t you wish in the canonical timeline that Padme wears a metal bikini?

    As far as Jar-Jar goes. Look, the main reason he should live is because he is the one that “mesa” proposed that Palpatine gets all the executive powers. Now, him living at the bottom of a porta-potty, come on, the gungian helped Palpatine get his Empire, it’s a little harsh.


    What if it was a secret the whole time, and at the end of Episode III, Anakin actually dies, and is killed by Jar-Jar, but is thrown into a lava pit. And at that point, he assumes the identity of Anakin/Vader, and the Emperor is happy because he’s got a bad ass for his “second”.

    Okay, I’m full of shit.

    Seriously, I never understood how “balance” meant the complete eradication of evil.


    Here’s something to think about on the subject of Balance in terms of the Force:

    The Light side of force users move with the will of the force, like an energy and spiritual river, only bending it’s will when needed. In terms you can understand, in a city lit by the force, Light-side users are minimalists and only drain what they need at any given moment, meaning the load, or the amount of Light Force Energy in use, is relatively low.

    Also keep in mind that the Dark side is avialable to those that choose to manipulate it, or give in to that degree of usage. All “Light Force” users may encouter a time when they are darker than they are light, and in the case of inexperienced Force users, or complete unknowns, that is higher.

    Add to that the concentrations of Dark Force energy in the universe and evil is not dead before…

    A Sith, masters of the Dark side seem to use the Dark side almost constantly. They manipulate it to complete tasks, control minds, mask themselves and all kinds of things. That means that the amount of Dark energy in use far outweighs the use of any one Light Side user, but does not necessarily make them more powerful. You know the whole all the dark in the universe cannot hide the light of a single candle thing.

    In the case of Anakin, I think it’s safe to say the prophecy was always misunderstood, and with only 1 Light user, an abscense of dark users at the time of Vader/Anakin’s death, he fulfills the prophecy in Jedi, not earlier on as the Jedi Council had expected the prophecy might refer to. That accounts for Obi-wan assuming they were wrong, and why in the right, he did fulfill it.


    “Man, you guys are dorks, what with your Star Wars force mumbo-jumbo spam-filled bunghole talk.”

    I really never thought of that, Bryan. Good shit.

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