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1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee.
2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).
7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach ( I also find that when I’m in a room full of people my crotch itches real bad).
11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
17. Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
18. Oliver’s Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.
These apply to SOS as well….
5 – Bryan’s Law : As soon as he gets a really cool idea to do something, that particular piece of equipment will fail or break down.
4 – Rob’s Law : As soon as he thinks he is safe, someone will make a gay joke.
3 – Jerry’s Law : No matter how funny it is, no one can ever hear him laugh.
2 – Bryan / Jerry syndrome : Whenever Bryan takes a drink of Rockstar, Jerry will make it come thru his nose.
1 – Rob / Forum syndrome : Whenever Rob changes his Avatar…Bing will hate it
(No offense to Mr. Hicks he was truly a genius…but I miss that laughing, disembodied head)
Those are all great and very true. I don’t know why I can’t laugh louder on the show. I think it’s in my head that we have to be quiet. Though we aren’t. My laugh is usually quite loud.
I like titties.
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