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Thoughts on illness…

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Thoughts on illness…

Latest Replies Forums The Orange Lounge Thoughts on illness…

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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  • #553
    rob
    Participant

    Between the bout I’ve had of shooting fiery hot liquid poo out of me at a rate I estimate to be liters per hour and the almost non-stop masturbation I’ve enjoyed for the last month since I’ve been jobless, rehydration has been a constant battle. To put it mildly, the last 36 hours have been murder, especially when I tried masturbation while shooting the poo, which to me, is a very strange sensation. (That’s got to be what it’s like getting raped by Aquaman…)

    Anyway, I digress. When you’re ill, you realize just how wonderful it is to be well. I mean, sure, I’ve had it bad lately, but I’m sure there are some starving people somewhere that would love to have diarrhea. I’m sure when most of them piss nothing but sand comes out. I’ve thought about this during my latest affliction, and remembered what it was like when my arm was broken, or when I had sprained my ankle not too long ago.

    So I say to you, switched:on forum-ers (by the use of that term, does that mean a transvestite that visits a message board would be a transforum-er?), enjoy your health. Enjoy being able to use your hand in a normal way. Enjoy being able to walk in a straight line without the use of crutches. And above all, enjoy that solid poo that comes along every once in a while..

    #8278
    rob
    Participant

    Between the bout I’ve had of shooting fiery hot liquid poo out of me at a rate I estimate to be liters per hour and the almost non-stop masturbation I’ve enjoyed for the last month since I’ve been jobless, rehydration has been a constant battle. To put it mildly, the last 36 hours have been murder, especially when I tried masturbation while shooting the poo, which to me, is a very strange sensation. (That’s got to be what it’s like getting raped by Aquaman…)

    Anyway, I digress. When you’re ill, you realize just how wonderful it is to be well. I mean, sure, I’ve had it bad lately, but I’m sure there are some starving people somewhere that would love to have diarrhea. I’m sure when most of them piss nothing but sand comes out. I’ve thought about this during my latest affliction, and remembered what it was like when my arm was broken, or when I had sprained my ankle not too long ago.

    So I say to you, switched:on forum-ers (by the use of that term, does that mean a transvestite that visits a message board would be a transforum-er?), enjoy your health. Enjoy being able to use your hand in a normal way. Enjoy being able to walk in a straight line without the use of crutches. And above all, enjoy that solid poo that comes along every once in a while.

    #8285
    Frank
    Participant

    Will do, Skipper!

    #8286
    Frank
    Participant

    Will do, Skipper!

    #8282
    Bing
    Participant

    liquid ass-lava is never cool. The worst are the ones that feel like they may be farts…tempting you to let them out only to betray you with the silky slickness of failure and fear.

    Rob…I know you aren’t going to listen, but I will attempt to spare you some suffering this one time.

    Fiber in your diet will help to “firm-up” the poo.
    One dose of a fiber supplement in the AM will help….(Metamucil, fiber-con, etc)

    Or you could keep up the Fusion Farts.

    pleasuring and pooing???

    #8284
    Bing
    Participant

    liquid ass-lava is never cool. The worst are the ones that feel like they may be farts…tempting you to let them out only to betray you with the silky slickness of failure and fear.

    Rob…I know you aren’t going to listen, but I will attempt to spare you some suffering this one time.

    Fiber in your diet will help to “firm-up” the poo.
    One dose of a fiber supplement in the AM will help….(Metamucil, fiber-con, etc)

    Or you could keep up the Fusion Farts.

    pleasuring and pooing???

    #8279
    Octavious
    Participant

    I agree with Bing on this, fiber is the way to go. And maybe its what you eat too.

    Skipper, Frank? So we have a Captain and a skipper.

    #8280
    Octavious
    Participant

    I agree with Bing on this, fiber is the way to go. And maybe its what you eat too.

    Skipper, Frank? So we have a Captain and a skipper.

    #8281
    Bing
    Participant

    Frank is likely reffering to “The Skipper” A New Zealand dance originating in 1777 where young males were fed a steady diet of peppers and tuna fish for 7 days straight.

    At the end of the seven days each male (who, as a right of passage, had not been allowed the use of a toilet for the seven days) would race to the end of a long line of topless fat women to defecate on the chest of a well-endowed young virgin.

    Seeing as how it is damn near impossible to run with a colon full of tuna peppers most participants would do the NZ national dance “the skip” to the finish line. The winner would be named King of NZ and would have the honor of naming the poor smuck who had to clean the poo off the beautiful virgin.

    The practice was abolished in the 1950’s after one contestant (Budda T. Buchabettermint) suffered an ass explosion and coated the entire crowd in what one reporter termed “A gigantic sticky wave of tuna embedded pepper spray”…..the event is commemorated by serving tuna fish lifesavers at Christmas

    ……the family of said contestant still holds high office in NZ government today*…

    *Chapter 54 “Why New Zealand can never be nuclear”
    Bing’s Book of Better Bullshit, c.1997

    #8283
    Bing
    Participant

    Frank is likely reffering to “The Skipper” A New Zealand dance originating in 1777 where young males were fed a steady diet of peppers and tuna fish for 7 days straight.

    At the end of the seven days each male (who, as a right of passage, had not been allowed the use of a toilet for the seven days) would race to the end of a long line of topless fat women to defecate on the chest of a well-endowed young virgin.

    Seeing as how it is damn near impossible to run with a colon full of tuna peppers most participants would do the NZ national dance “the skip” to the finish line. The winner would be named King of NZ and would have the honor of naming the poor smuck who had to clean the poo off the beautiful virgin.

    The practice was abolished in the 1950’s after one contestant (Budda T. Buchabettermint) suffered an ass explosion and coated the entire crowd in what one reporter termed “A gigantic sticky wave of tuna embedded pepper spray”…..the event is commemorated by serving tuna fish lifesavers at Christmas

    ……the family of said contestant still holds high office in NZ government today*…

    *Chapter 54 “Why New Zealand can never be nuclear”
    Bing’s Book of Better Bullshit, c.1997

    #8272
    Version3
    Keymaster

    That’s funny Bing… I mean like really funny.

    #8273
    Version3
    Keymaster

    That’s funny Bing… I mean like really funny.

    #8287
    Ivan
    Participant

    I had the liquid poos this weekend… IHOP = food poisoning. It was also fun listening to the person in the dorm bathroom stall next to me squirm uncomfortably as I blasted the deuce.

    #8288
    Ivan
    Participant

    I had the liquid poos this weekend… IHOP = food poisoning. It was also fun listening to the person in the dorm bathroom stall next to me squirm uncomfortably as I blasted the deuce.

    #8274
    Bucho
    Participant

    To this day there are rumours of secret Skipper cults who perform the ceremony in vast underground caverns formed by New Zealand’s live volcanic underbelly. Some say the stories are mere urban myth. Others … well let’s just say ol’ Bucho is known in certain covert circles as King Bucho The Asscannon.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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