July 20, 2009 at 1:46 pm #2063
i have verizon for my wireless carrier. ergo, i don’t know how at&t operates. but a friend of mine just told me he got a call from at&t offering him a free iphone 3g (not the new 3g s) and he said he talked them into giving him one for his wife as well. he said they called because they’re such loyal customers.
have any of you ever heard of something like this? i don’t really have reason to doubt his word, but it just seems a little far fetched to me. normally i wouldn’t give it a second thought, but the dude owes me $1500. so am i just overthinking this because of the money?
plus the dude just sent a tweet about a new hp notebook. one of their hdx models with “Intel Centrino2 Quad core CPU…4 Gigs of RAM…2x250GB SATA HDD’s..Blue Ray ROM VDV/CD Burner…Fingerprint reader” as well as “Webcam/Mic..Full size backlit Keyboard..18.5″ 1080p HD monitor.. Dolby 5.1 full surround sound w/sub woofers on bottom..”
and a few of those specs are upgrades you can make at the time of purchase, so i know it was well above the base price.
we loaned the dude 2k a little over a year ago so he wouldn’t lose his house and he keeps talking about how tight his finances have been the last year, but i can’t help but feel like one of those suckers you see on judge judy that loaned their friend money and then she says “don’t do that.”
if he got free iphones, fine. but i really don’t care if he bought the laptop or if somebody gave it to him, he needs to put that on ebay and give me my money.
My essence still senses Bucho's women.July 20, 2009 at 7:55 pm #23723
I originally had a response that I’ve since sent via PM. If you’ve read my response already, do me a favor and don’t comment on it.
Hey look… Boobs!
Okay, now back to the issue.
I think there is probably some truth in the story, but there is likely just as much missing from the story as well. Just remember that financial arrangements have nothing to do with why you are friends, and can and should be handled separate from your friendship. He’s probably not trying to screw you over, he’s probably just not as responsible as you are.
That’s all I have for now.July 20, 2009 at 9:21 pm #23730
thx dude. i was hoping you’d see this. from all your stories on the show, you usually have a good “diplomatic/arbitrator” character trait that i lack. i just needed a fresh perspective. thank you very much. i actually do feel a lot better about the situation.
look, more boobies!
My essence still senses Bucho's women.July 20, 2009 at 11:03 pm #23728digitaltopiaParticipant
Yeah, never lend anyone money, and if you do, you should only lend money that it doesn’t matter if you never get it back. That way, if they never repay you, you’re not surprised, and if they do, then it’s nice and you can fondle them.July 23, 2009 at 1:39 pm #23729BingParticipant
Hey Lark! Bing!
Can I have some money? How about your Real-Doll? Some Star Wars collectibles? Old Socks? 3 Fresh dryer sheets?
Frank once loaned some money over time to a guy he new in college. That same dude is richer’n than any wet dream of bathing in solid-gold microchips Bryan has ever had….still ain’t paid Frank shit…
People have never asked me for money, they usually just beg for sex.July 23, 2009 at 2:53 pm #23731
no problem, bing. i’m going to send you a cd with all my account info. all you have to do is boot from the cd to open up a secured line to my bank. then type “format c:” and the money will be transferred straight to your computer.
My essence still senses Bucho's women.July 23, 2009 at 5:11 pm #23724
Is the disc image for that up on bitTorrent?July 23, 2009 at 9:50 pm #23732July 23, 2009 at 10:02 pm #23725
Nice Classic! You knew I’d d/l it!July 24, 2009 at 1:55 am #23733
LOL of course! 🙂
My essence still senses Bucho's women.July 24, 2009 at 3:33 am #23726BuchoParticipant
That’s a tough situation Lark. Whether the guy is simply irresponsible or whether he’s actively disrespecting you I don’t know, but if it feels “off” to you and you want to say something to him then make sure that when you sit him down you don’t come at him in a way that’s going to make him think he’s being insulted. State from the outset that you mean absolutely no disrespect and you don’t question his honor or integrity but you want to talk about the loan and how things are going financially with him, not because you want to pressure him in any way, but because you have his back.
Maybe even balance things out by making sure he knows there are things you know he’s great at, like, “Dude, you’re an awesome father/plumber/bowler/shot with a catapult and I envy your skill/ability/superpowers with that, lord knows you beat the shit out of me with it, but there’s something else I feel like you could be doing a little better at and it’s bumming me out lately …” That might even come across condescending, but it’s not condescending or disrespectful as long as you’re genuine and sincere (because after all, if you didn’t genuinely respect him then you wouldn’t be friends in the first place), and it’s better than having your buddy start to feel defensive.
You’re basically saying, “Dude, you know I love you, you know I respect you and our friendship is very, very important in my life and only want good things for you, and this is potentially sensitive ground we’re going to be covering so I want to make sure we both see eye to eye on all that … that I see you and respect you as an equal.”
The thing is, especially for us guys who grew up in working class areas or other types of macho cultures (like NZ, where our national passtime is a kind of full contact football but without the protective helmets and pads, or Texas where it’s … Texas), a lot of the time a lot of things go unsaid because we’re conditioned to think that being a man means repressing what you feel (which is actually, paradoxically, less courageous than allowing yourself to be vulnerable by letting people know what you feel – but that’s a conversation for another time). But that strong-silent-type attitude leaves too much room for big misunderstandings sometimes, and there’s got to be a way around that.
I was in a situation similar to what your buddy is in when I was a younger, prettier man. I was loaned $4000 by an aunt (that’s about $1.25 in US money) and I took it for granted for months until she told my mother it upset her to be treated like that, that I was acting as if the world owed me a living and I didn’t appreciate that she was making a sacrifice to help me out. Of course, when my mother told me this I felt like an asshole, because I was an asshole. No matter how proud you are you only risk losing more integrity if you act like the loan doesn’t come with obligations, one of which is making sure they know you appreciate their generosity. Showing humility isn’t the same as being humiliated, it’s about facing up to reality while still being able to hold your head up high. It doesn’t mean you bow and scrape and turn belly up before the people you owe, it means you undertake your responsibilities as a man with honor and make them a priority in your life, above shiny but ultimately unnescessary things. Come to think of it that’s not far from where I am right now trying to sort out a new computer, salivating over Macbook Pros that I could buy and pay off, except I owe it to myself and my babycakes to rein it in until I either win Lotto or the economy gets off its ass.
That’s my two cents Lark, I don’t know if that makes any sense to your situation but it’s how I try to approach difficult relationship issues. I’ve never had enough money to loan anyone a good god damn so I can’t give any advice from the exact same experience you’re having but I have had to tell friends and/or family to pull their heads in before concerning similar matters of duty and maturity and I hope in your case it’s just a misread or misunderstanding that can be ironed out easily. But whatever the case; for me the golden rule is always the best way, put yourself in their shoes and think about how you’d want someone else to approach you. And may the force be with you.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.July 24, 2009 at 3:41 am #23734
thx, bucho. i appreciate you taking time to comment on this.
and dude, just between you and me? i’m sure you’re still pretty…
in a macho kind of way.
My essence still senses Bucho's women.July 24, 2009 at 10:47 am #23727BuchoParticipant
Yeah no worries dude, I just hope you get some resolution on the matter quick smart.
Because the sooner he pays you back the sooner I can get a loan off you for that sweet new iMac.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.
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