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Questions for Bucho…

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Questions for Bucho…

Latest Replies Forums The Orange Lounge Questions for Bucho…

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #1483

    I just got some questions, because I’m a question-askin’ muthafucka.

    1. What city do you live in?

    2. Do you feel well-traveled, or do you travel regularly?

    3. When you watch the Lord of the Rings movies, do you say, “Yeah, I’ve seen that. That’s not Fangorn Forest. That’s my backyard.”

    4. No, really, when you watch them, do you recognize a lot of stuff?

    5. Do you consider yourself to be quite as mild-mannered as you seem, or would you say you’re more the adventurous type? Like, do you jump off mountains with nothing but an XXL hoodie to slow your fall, or something like that?

    6. What’s the one place you’d like to visit?

    7. Is there a mate for the Bucho?

    I don’t know why, okay? I was just looking at New Zealand on Google Earth and was wondering some stuff about my favorite New Zealander. In fact, if someone were to ask me who my favorite New Zealander is, I’d say, “Yeah, Peter Jackson don’t have shit on the fuggin’ Bucho!” And they’d say, “Who the fuck is Bucho? I thought he was a fictional character from the Antonio Banderas movie Desperado.” And I’d say, “Hey, broomface, you betta recognize! Bucho’s the fuggin’ man!” And then they’d transport me to Hawaii to throw me in Mt. Fluganakaboomishickletart, and it’d all be over.


    Good fucking Mt name! It made me laugh.


    I saw we all take a road trip to see Bucho! Think you can find us a couple of bunks, mate?

    And yes, I know … road trip … haha (that one was for Bing).


    I’m a question answering muthafucka. If you need to know where to send the ICBMs or hot Texas chicks or Frank’s tour party (I haven’t got bunks but there’s an old abandoned whorehouse next door you can stay in for free bro) you need to Google Earth Blockhouse Bay which is my current suburb in Auckland. I haven’t been further than Aus yet but later this year I’m heading for South America for a few months so on the way there or back I need to swing on up by DFW at some stage and visit SOS headquarters so I can get my shirt and 2005 Best Of autographed and experience some of the fine dining establishments I’ve listened to.

    LOTR does look like the NZ wilderness in every way (geography and trees etc) but not to the point I can recognise by name which particular forest or river each scene is in. If they’d had more beaches I’d recognise far more. I think a couple of the mountains were easy enough to pick out but off the top of my head I can’t remember which ones, I haven’t seen the movies more than twice each and not for a while. Most of the population lives in cities and a lot of the locations used in the film are in very remote parks and reservations or on private farms. Better movies to see what my backyard looks like are Once Were Warriors (with Temuera Morrison doing actual acting in the lead role and Cliff Curtis from Three Kings and Traffic) or Sione’s Wedding (light hearted three star comedy), but I’d say they’d be hard to find at Blockbuster. On a side note, that lizard I’ve been using in my avatar is a tuatara, a native to NZ that’s the closest surviving relative on Earth to the dinosaurs. There’s nothing profound about that, it was just the random NZ thing I thought of as an avatar a while ago and I like the green bushy background.

    I am a pretty mellow dude these days, I’m 33 this year so my hell raising days are mostly over as far as risking limbs goes but there is a really cool cliff jump in the Coromandel (about 2 1/2 hours from me) I still love to do once or twice a year. It’s not super high but high enough that your feet go numb from the slap, and if your feet are apart you’ll know what Bond felt like in that torture scene. It scares the shit out of me. The downside is it takes 30 minutes of walking to reach the jump point, but it’s cool if you like walking around the coastline. I like a bit of snowboarding and mountain biking too and I’ll get my dive ticket one day but all that stuff can get real expensive real fast. Diving’s the best, cause you can bring home dinner. What was the question again?

    Brazil’s always been my first choice of somewhere I want to go, ever since I was a little kid, so this trip is way overdue. I’ve put it off for years for different reasons like relationships and bands but better now than when I’m 43, right? As for that relationship situation, I broke up with my last girlfriend about 2 months ago so any hot single southern ladies you know of that might want to get their hands on some not-quite-prime NZ beef, you let me know gentlemen and I’ll send my personal hovercraft all the way to TX to pick them up.

    (If any of you guys, hosts or vagrants, seriously ever want to come to NZ definitely get in touch. If I can help with anything I’d be stoked to do it. Also, if they take you to Mt Fluganakaboomishickletart the joke’s on them, that volcano’s been extinct for decades and there’s a female only nudist colony there now.)

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.


    Awesome! I just wanted to know…I’ve been curious about New Zealand for quite a while now, and those damn furry big-footed midget movies just show off New Zealand so much it makes me want to go. I don’t know how much it would cost to go — there was one website that offered tours and shit of the North and South islands for like $7,000. A person. And that’s just nutty.

    Cool, man. I knew you’d be a good sport about those weirdo questions…


    Yeah, we’re a long way from everywhere so most of the tourists that come here are either rich asians or students that work doing fruit picking and shit and live in hostels while they do snowboarding or surfing trips, it just doesn’t make sense for most Northern Hemisphere travellers when either Canada, South America or Europe is closer with older architecture, art and museums and more nature to see. There’s really no tourist attraction in NZ that other countries don’t have bigger and better but the main advantage is that we’re only slightly bigger than the UK (about a third the size of TX) so everything is closer together and the travelling times between each thing are shorter.

    That’s shit salesmanship overall on my part I guess but I had the same conversation a couple of weeks ago and there’s an economic truth you have to consider if you don’t have some big wads of expendable cash laying around.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

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