I manage a simple web site for my friend (he’s a psp dev. so it’s for easy source codes ect…), and owing to the purchase of a domain name I emailed the details of the new URL to several website owners who were known to have maintained links to us at our old address.
Last week I received this message:
“Dear Adam” (my name is not Adam). “Please send me your advertising rates”
A simple request. The only problem is that we have never carried advertising. I emailed him back:
“Dear ***, I am afraid that we do not carry advertising within our website”
“Dear Adam” (Doh!) “Yes, I would like to advertise on your web site – please let me know how much it will cost.”
I replied in much the same vein as before i.e. We do not carry advertising. We will never carry advertising. We have never carried advertising. There are no rates. Go away.
This message returned Last Friday:
“Dear Adam” (I’m getting tired of being called Adam). “I would like to renew the advertising that I had with you a while back. How much does it cost now?”
By now I’m getting a little pissed. I reply.
“Dear ***, As I have stated repeatedly, we have never carried advertising within our website. You cannot therefore renew advertising that we have never carried. In the unlikely event that we should start to carry advertising in the future then you will be the first to know, but don’t hold your breath. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you would stop sending me requests for our advertising rates. We don’t have any. Furthermore, my name is _not_ Adam”
Message returned yesterday:
“Dear Adam” (AAAAAAARGH!). “I enclose my copy for the advertising…….”
“Dear Dumbass, as you obviously do not understand English so, CONSIDER KILLING YOURSELF AND SAVING GOD OR SOMEONE ELSE THE TROUBLE!!!
Actually I didn’t send that last part – I just wish I had. He has, however, been added to my spam list. I wonder if the fool is gonna be visiting the web site daily, looking for his advertising…….