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Of retards and sour cream

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Of retards and sour cream

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #1071

    No shit true story..

    So I am at the grocery store Saturday (its what I do), Bingette is off looking longingly at the kelbasas and cucumbers, and I am standing in the ointment aisle trying to figure out which I want more, Ben Gay or Prep H.

    I have heard this sound since we walked in, its a human sound but doesn’t sound like any word or language, not quite a burp or a sneeze noise either. At first I disregard it as nothing but it doesn’t seem to stop. Whoever is doing it is doing it intentionally and with no regard to others.

    I can’t concentrate on ointments with this racket going on, so off I go to investigate the strange noise (something oddly enough…unique to white people, black folk run from strange noises we seek ’em out). I finally hear the noise again JUST ONE AISLE OVER!!!

    This is it I can finally find out who and why this bullshit is fucking up my shopping. I turn onto the aisle to see a very friendly looking older man with a kind face, I smile and walk on by, this can’t be the guy….and then I hear the sound come from him.

    and a revelation hits me.
    This is the man and the noise is from tourette’s syndrome.

    I feel like I am in heaven, instantly I run to find the wife and try to tell her the glory I have found through the tears of laughter streaming down my chisled facial features. I spend the next 15 glorious minutes shadowing this guy and giggling like a little girl in a condom shop.

    It was a good day.


    to those in the care, the sound was like a strange combination of premature pre-puke and a stiffled sneeze. Not the type of noise I can recreate and I had no way to record it.


    yeah, remember what happened the last time you got into the Ben Gay?


    Actually Frank I am sure the board would love to hear, why don’t you tell it.


    This story reminded me of the Tourette’s Guy. You know, “Bob Saget!” Is he really dead? Oh, well, it was funny.


    Okay Bing, time for you to buy a cheap little iRiver off eBay and carry it around with you everywhere.


    Amen to that.

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