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No wonder old people are retarded.

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No wonder old people are retarded.

Latest Replies Forums The Orange Lounge No wonder old people are retarded.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)
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  • #1237
    Scatt
    Participant

    In this day of PDA cellphones, the internet, and mp3 players, old bastards had to grow up with toys like this:

    YouTube Link

    This is the funniest commercial I’ve seen in a long time. “It’s a what?!”

    #14690
    Bucho
    Participant

    There’s something horrifying about that shot of them in the boat. “Let’s paddle out into the lake a little and then sit there and twirl our Swing Wings.” It’s not even that they’re out in the boat, it’s that they’re both facing the same direction.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #14695
    Octavious
    Participant

    The kids look like their a tourettes retard.

    Can you imagine what it look like if a woman is giving head while wearing one of those.

    #14702
    Bing
    Participant

    Thing was probably invented by a chiropractor to drum up business.

    #14699
    Scatt
    Participant
    Bucho wrote:
    There’s something horrifying about that shot of them in the boat. “Let’s paddle out into the lake a little and then sit there and twirl our Swing Wings.” It’s not even that they’re out in the boat, it’s that they’re both facing the same direction.

    I thought the same thing. “Let’s go out on the boat, theeen swing-wing for about an hour/hour-and-a-half.

    Darth Octavious wrote:
    Can you imagine what it look like if a woman is giving head while wearing one of those.

    Hahaha!

    I would shit my pants and run if I saw that one kid who looks like he’s Frankenstein-walking towards the camera. He look the most retarded of all. But the worst part of that commercial is how I’ve been quoting it non-stop all weekend; “It’s a what?!” God help me.

    #14689
    Bucho
    Participant
    Scatt wrote:
    I thought the same thing. “Let’s go out on the boat, theeen swing-wing for about an hour/hour-and-a-half.

    Yeah, all the other shots just look silly but the way they’re out there in the boat is sinister. Why would they have not only paddled out there to swing their wings, but not even face each other to share the fun? What black magic compels them to behave in such a way?

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #14698
    Scatt
    Participant

    I could imagine the kid who wants one for Christmas; begging the parents. Then the parent at the store and the realization hits them like, “I can’t believe I’m about to buy this for my kid… You saw the commercial. I’m enabling my kid to act like a fucking retard in front of all the neighbors”.

    I want to find more old toys that didn’t stand the test of time.

    #14694
    Pa-ul
    Participant

    I know it’s wrong, but, part of me wanted so badly to see the branch break whilst the kid hangs upside down from it nodding like the chimp. 😀


    If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.

    #14701
    Bing
    Participant

    Wonder if there are any other videos of this entertainment / boating phenomenon?

    #14691
    rob
    Participant

    Laughed pretty heartily at that ‘un. I mean — a tagline should have something to do with how useful or, in this case, fun the product is. Questioning how weird and fucked up it is in your tagline probably didn’t do anything for sales.

    What I kept imagining was a spiked ball at the end of the rope, so if you didn’t keep up the spinning it would embed rusty nails in your nasal cavity.

    Another thought I had was for a totally different voiceover.

    “Do you feel sorry for the retarded members of your family?

    Do you worry that they feel out of place?

    Well, not anymore! Just put on your Swing Wing and those windowlickin’ sorry bastards will feel right at home!”

    If there is a hell, I’ll most certainly be going for that one.

    #14700
    Bing
    Participant
    rob wrote:
    Well, not anymore! Just put on your Swing Wing and those windowlickin’ sorry bastards will feel right at home!”

    If there is a hell, I’ll most certainly be going for that one.

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
    *snot shoots from nose*

    BWAWHAHAHAHAAA!
    *Tears run down face*

    #14703
    Armez
    Participant

    I really wonder who invented that…

    I fear that they may actually be related to me/Rusty…

    #14697
    Scatt
    Participant
    Pa-ul wrote:
    I know it’s wrong, but, part of me wanted so badly to see the branch break whilst the kid hangs upside down from it nodding like the chimp. 😀

    God, yes, I thought the same thing! I thought about how society has turned so pussy these days that they wouldn’t allow a child to hang like that, for safety’s sake.

    Rob wrote:
    What I kept imagining was a spiked ball at the end of the rope, so if you didn’t keep up the spinning it would embed rusty nails in your nasal cavity.

    It reminds me of some kind of Kill Bill enemy. I <3 retarded people.

    #14693
    Pa-ul
    Participant
    Scatt wrote:
    Pa-ul wrote:
    I know it’s wrong, but, part of me wanted so badly to see the branch break whilst the kid hangs upside down from it nodding like the chimp. 😀

    God, yes, I thought the same thing! I thought about how society has turned so pussy these days that they wouldn’t allow a child to hang like that, for safety’s sake.

    Way to pussy. I used to think it fun to jump out of the second floor of a house onto sand (sometimes the builders covered rubble with sand). The police thought I was a prick. If a child does that now, then the police think the parents are pricks (I guess it’s hereditary, and the tag seems to have followed me around)

    Scatt wrote:
    Rob wrote:
    What I kept imagining was a spiked ball at the end of the rope, so if you didn’t keep up the spinning it would embed rusty nails in your nasal cavity.

    It reminds me of some kind of Kill Bill enemy. I <3 retarded people.

    There is also a skipping hoop that you fasten around one ankle and then spin it around, jumping over it when it rotates.
    I could make a bolas a lot cheaper and throw it around somebodies legs. Result would be a lot more satisfying:D


    If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.

    #14696
    Scatt
    Participant
    Pa-ul wrote:
    There is also a skipping hoop that you fasten around one ankle and then spin it around, jumping over it when it rotates. I could make a bolas a lot cheaper and throw it around somebodies legs. Result would be a lot more satisfying:D

    Yeah, the Skip-it, or something, I remember that. The thing is, that makes sense to me in a way. It’s almost like these products were trying relentlessly to re-invent the hoola-hoop, and that’s okay, but the Swing Wing inventor was just out-of-his-fucking-mind retarded. The Skip-it makes sense, because it’s like mixing the hoola-hoop with jump-roping. Swing Wing has no skill, other than how long you can keep up looking retarded without shame, guilt, or self-judgement.

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