I’ve been meaning to post something about this for a few days now but all of the house stuff has really been in the forefront. Anyway, the other day I took a shower in our new master bath, and was marveling at how wonderful everything was. What do you call those, cobblestones? I don’t know what the fuck they’re called, but that’s what’s on the floor of the shower, and I was like, wow, this is really nice on the feet, the showerhead was gentle but firm (like my poop) and everything just works, and it was nice.
So I go to get out and, woop, foot slid a bit on the floor, ooh, we probably need something there just to be safe and then I look over and…
Who the hell is that?
Seriously? That’s what I look like?
The first thing I thought of was an old rendering of Jabba the Hutt from one of those “art of Jedi” things, where Jabba actually had legs and walked around and stuff. I mean, really? I didn’t know parts of my body folded like that.
Man, I gotta lose some weight.
So the moral of the story is, if you’ve been living with your in-laws for two years and you buy a new house and take a shower and look in the mirror and expect to see something good, man, you’re wrong.
Yes I learned this lesson at a younger age when me and an ex decided to make a “special tape”
I watched the first 3 minutes of it and then erased the whole thing. Looked like two albino hippos attacking each other.
What I recommend is next time you get outta the shower and the mirror is all foggy, you DRAW what you think you should look like in the mirror then when the wife gets out of her shower she can appreciate your artwork.