August 9, 2006 at 10:47 pm #777BingParticipant
Mike “Pi” orders a stout keg o’ stunk drunk brew, Bucho settles for a fire shot of whiskey and all Bsherrod wanted was a sammich. “Helps keep me sharp” was all the explanation Bsherrod offered. “You Americans….you never make sense” piped in an already slurring Bucho. Mike “Pi” didn’t say much, he had his eye on the lovely breasts of some young hottie headed his way.
“I know you guys!” she squealed “You guys are the SOS’ers! Bryan, Jerry and Rob!!”
“Why yes we are” all three men answered in unison…and what is your name Mike “Pi” finally said. “My name is Jennifer” she said, already winking and smiling
(at this point in the story a huge debate arose between Bucho and Mike “Pi” about whether the name Jennifer was referred to as “slutty” or “a tease” in the name games of several SOS shows……)
….realizing that valuable time was being wasted they came up with the brilliant idea of just flat-out asking Jennifer if she was a tease or a slut…a coin toss unfortunately chose the (by now) completely hammered Bucho as the one to “pop” the question. They knew the rest of the night hung on the answer to Bucho’s question….
“Schuze me but har yew a shlut or a teeesh?” Bucho turned to ask her, only to see her plant a big wet one on Bsherrod’s face…”Dude! what the hell” roared Mike “Pi”…”How the hell did you do that!”
“Easy” Bsherrod said…”I told her I was Mike the Mortgage guy”
8).August 10, 2006 at 12:13 am #10495OctaviousParticipant
Bing, the novelist.August 10, 2006 at 12:17 am #10483mike3point14159Participant
That was the time I went to New Zeland. I only wanted to go to Vegas but the airline had a cheaper flight if I had a stopover in Motueka. As well as a free koala upon my departure (the place is lousy with them, its like all the dead armidilloes in Texas).
Since a!c0#0! is forbidden in Utah, ( I’m not even allowed to type the word) my first stop was the bar.
Bsherrod had bummed a ride from Bucho and they were just parking his kangaroo outside when we recognized each other. You know the rest.
A word to the wize. Beware of the drop bear when visiting NZ.August 10, 2006 at 7:34 am #10485
Yeah, but once you get to know how to handle ’em they sure are a blessing on those long cold lonely NZ winter nights.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.August 10, 2006 at 9:20 pm #10496Bucho wrote:Yeah, but once you get to know how to handle ’em they sure are a blessing on those long cold lonely NZ winter nights.
“Wise-cracking American response:” You guys have winters over there?August 11, 2006 at 12:47 am #10494BSherrodParticipant
That’s awesome, I wanna be Michael the Mortage Guy for Halloween now.August 11, 2006 at 7:06 am #10486Frank wrote:Bucho wrote:Yeah, but once you get to know how to handle ’em they sure are a blessing on those long cold lonely NZ winter nights.
“Wise-cracking American response:” You guys have winters over there?
Sure, that’s why the polar bears thrive. They’re the second most ferocious predators in NZ.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.August 11, 2006 at 8:46 am #10497
Hey! Send me a penguin, man. I’ve always wanted one. Who knew they lived with the polar bears in New Zealand? That’s amazing! I guess I have to ask, what’s the most ferocious predator?August 11, 2006 at 8:49 am #10498
Bucho, I do have a legit question for you: Are you much into sports? Specifically basketball. We’ve got a guy over here who attends Winthrop University and plays basketball. He’s from New Zealand. I’ve been told (we’ll, he told me while we were going over sports stuff at our paper) that he was sort of a hometown hero, playing for the Tall Blacks. Now, I thought that was offensive (considering he is black) but was quickly told that is, indeed, the name of the team. I dunno. Thought you might be able to shed some light on the subject for me. His name is Craig Bradshaw.
Again, if you’re not much into sports, sorry for wasting your time.August 11, 2006 at 8:33 pm #10491
Sorry for butting in here.
He probably meant the All Blacks (sounds even more racist I know).
It’s the New Zealand Rugby team (and a good one at that, sends a chill down my spine watching the Haka).
Rugby is just like American Football, but without all the armour. 😀
If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.August 11, 2006 at 8:39 pm #10487
I like some sports but basketball’s one of those things that’s fun to play but not to watch for me. I played two years in high school but could never get into watching NBA. Actually if it wasn’t for my gf being a big b-ball fan I wouldn’t probably know who Craig was, Sean Marks and Pero Cameron and the coach Tab Baldwin are the only real household names for non b-ball fans here. The Tall Blacks is a play on All Blacks which our rugby union team’s been nicknamed for decades because of the uniforms and our national sports colours are black and white. The best national team nickname we have is the badminton team – The Black Cox.Frank wrote:Hey! Send me a penguin, man. I’ve always wanted one. Who knew they lived with the polar bears in New Zealand? That’s amazing! I guess I have to ask, what’s the most ferocious predator?
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.August 11, 2006 at 8:42 pm #10492Bucho wrote:The best national team nickname we have is the badminton team – The Black Cox.
Hehe. I would not like to be commentator for that match.
Commentator – And could you all stand up as the Black Cox make their entrance. 😯
If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.August 11, 2006 at 9:02 pm #10488
It’s even better, it’s actually Black Cocks, I don’t know why I got it wrong.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.August 11, 2006 at 9:08 pm #10493
Laugh, I almost bust a rib.
Mainly at the Heading. 😀
If it doesn’t work, jam a screwdriver in there and jiggle it about.August 12, 2006 at 8:40 am #10499
OH MY GOD!!!
Main hed on the page: NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow
Dek hed: Chinese not too keen, either
And I’m not making that up!!!!!
In a million years, I could never get away with writing a headline like that. The worst I ever did was “Devil gets stoned at Hajj ritual” and boy, didn’t I catch hell for that one … no pun intended. I also fuhkt up a headline on the OPED page talking about Timothy McVeigh’s execution. However, in the headline, where it was supposed to say “PUBLIC” execution, well, let’s just say that I accidentally left the “L” out of it. Yeah, my editor was trying to yell at me, but couldn’t stop laughing long enough to do so.
Interesting NZ stuff, though. Can’t wait until Craig gets back home so I can rib him about it.
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