May 1, 2009 at 10:31 pm #1932May 2, 2009 at 5:00 am #22602Version3Keymaster
Well, I’ll watch GI Joe, but it’s going to be just plain fucking stupid. You have to know that it will be. It’s an excuse for someone to play in a slightly below top-tier effects sandbox with other people’s money. The story-line is strung together crap just to support that sandbox play.
Transformers will suffer from much of the same, but the eye-candy will likely be worth those sacrifices for me, at least on a first viewing. Sure the story will probably suck, but it probably won’t keep it from being fun. It’s a delicate balance sometimes, but I think you’ve picked two movies that will exemplify when the balance works, and when it falls right on it’s ass.May 2, 2009 at 7:12 pm #22632
I’ll go watch both. The director of G.I. Joe is the same guy that directed The Mummy, and from the trailer, it has a similar feel for me. What I didn’t like about the trailer was that they used to many cut away / fade out transitions, way too close together. That made the trailer much more poo for me.May 3, 2009 at 1:57 am #22623
That latest Transformers trailer made me want to fucking puke bile. How many times have I said it? The story’s supposed to be about the fucking Transformers, not stupid fucking one note humans. Damn you Michael Bay!
GI Joe is also gonna be fuckin’ stupid. Ack. Star Trek, and the new Harry Potter movie. That’s about it for me.May 3, 2009 at 2:51 am #22633
Oh come on Robby, you know you’re also going to love… um, you’re also going to love… wait. I’ll get back to you on that.May 3, 2009 at 4:35 am #22624
See, I’ve been irritated at Transformers because I actually knew the original story, as I’ve said before. But just like Alien vs. Predator, they just threw that away by going with the least amount of effort. “Oh, it takes a lot of effort” yeah shut the fuck up with that shit. Story comes first, dammit!
That being said, it’s always interesting to see what new technologies might come available with these movies for future much better movies.
I’m curious about Terminator Salvation and Public Enemies.May 3, 2009 at 6:43 am #22634
I have to admit, the new Terminator looks interesting, especially the really big robots. I’ve always been fans of mechs and mech-related things. Except maybe Robotron. That was eh. But stuff like Warhammer 40k and similar things, where people are running around in power armor, and Battletech, with the nice big mechs.May 3, 2009 at 10:20 am #22610rob wrote:See, I’ve been irritated at Transformers because I actually knew the original story, as I’ve said before.
I always like hearing you rip on stuff that bugs you Rob, I’ve kissed your ass enough for you to know that for sure, but what I don’t get is why you talk about the first Transformers movie as if the original story was worth a bucket of horseshit in the first place. A show designed as a series of ads to sell toys, and you talk about it like it has some kind of genuine dramatic or narative value, like it’s The Jungle Book or Alladin or something. Giant transforming robots is a ridiculosity that just doesn’t warrant any kind of adherence to canon no matter which angle I look at it from.
I get the hate people throw on the film because they don’t like Shia or Megan, or because the fight scenes were a pile of Bourne-wannabe fast-cut-closeup ballsacks, that stuff makes sense to me. But slating Transformers, or any other retarded toy-based franchise, because they don’t stick to a backstory that wasn’t worth lemur snot in the first place is just baffling.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.May 3, 2009 at 12:00 pm #22603Version3Keymaster
The story for the first film did absolutely suck, and it’s a Bay film, so I don’t know any anyone would have expected it to be much more than a good looking film. I expected very little except to see giant fucking robots look like they were actually here on Earth fucking shit up… and it did it. I cut the first one much slack because, although I already know the original story, I expected even less of it than I got. I was more entertained and less annoyed (likely due to expectations) than Robby. I haven’t watched it since it first came out on video, and will likely not watch it again. I felt a ton of things were way to fucked up from the universe that I knew to really like the movie (which I don’t), but I liked watching it once or twice because it looked cool and I was entertained. That’s all I’m looking for again.
G I Joe doesn’t have the same luxury, I know much of that original story, know that the vast majority of that is not only possible, but likely a better place to start than the shit we are seeing already. That one, I’m going in to being annoyed already, so I’ll have a very hard time keeping an open mind to any cool-factor.
I’m with Robby on the two movies he’s looking forward to, but I’m still happy to see another big fucking robot movie, and I’ll stare at Megan Fox on the big screen for whatever length of time I can. She needs to make her next film on my lap.May 3, 2009 at 11:21 pm #22625
Dammit, Bucho! I knew I’d have to spell it out for the foreigners… 🙂
Like what Bryan said about GI Joe, it’s not that the original story of Transformers was the best shit ever, but the fact that they went with a story that was infinitely dumber than what was originally there baffles me. It’s just infuriating to me to sacrifice simple things like character motivation for things like robots peeing on a guy’s head. C’mon, really? I think I originally had higher hopes for it because Spielberg was involved, but yeah.
So, my view on movies is, when I can come up with a better story than what’s up there, I get pissed. Unreasonable expectations, you say? I say in response, Iron Man, Wall-E, The Dark Knight. Just because you got it finished doesn’t cut it for me. And, like yelling at people in traffic, I do enjoy beating up on the occasional shitfest.May 4, 2009 at 12:17 am #22635Bucho wrote:But slating Transformers, or any other retarded toy-based franchise, because they don’t stick to a backstory that wasn’t worth lemur snot in the first place is just baffling.
How much is lemur snot actually worth, anyhow?May 4, 2009 at 7:57 am #22611
It makes more sense when you put it that way Rob, but when you say you were pissed because they strayed from the original story it comes off different. And I remember your stance about there being no excuse to not try to write a good story just because you have an SFXtravaganza to sell, and I respect that stance a lot in general, just like I respect your opinions on all facets of the movie world. I do have a higher tolerance for sub-genius scripts so, like Bryan, I cut the movie slack and went for that stupid ride and had fun.
I don’t remember the original backstories for either Transformers, GI Joe, Masters of The Universe or The Gummi Bears so I can’t get into it about whether the original stories actually were worth more than lemur snot ($5.75 per cubic inch Digitaltopia). But comparing The Dark Knight, Wall-E and Iron Man, three films that were based on storytelling from the get-go, to these glorified toy-pimping juvenile kids’ cartoons where story was always secondary to empty flashy consumer-driven monkeyshit, you can see why a lot of people would logically expect far less from them in the narative department.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.May 4, 2009 at 12:41 pm #22626
You know, Bucho, for a long time I thought it was me. Like my expectations were always too high. But I realized that wanting to see the best out of what I’m given just makes sense, at least to me. One of the things I hate to hear about a movie is “it’s good for what it was”. Ooh, I just can’t stand that. “For a piece of shit, it was okay.” Guess what? Still a piece of shit.
And you know, I understand when things get rushed, they can’t put everything in blah, blah, blah — but when you pander to the lowest common fucking denominator all the time, you’re going to piss some of us off.
What I don’t understand is why, even after The Dark Knight went on to make $500 million dollars domestically, the studios don’t understand that people crave smart entertainment. I’m just happy that Iron Man 2 seems to be headed in the right direction.May 4, 2009 at 7:13 pm #22612
No, your points are totally fair dude, there’s nothing wrong with holding entertainment to high standards. I think Transformers is definitely more juvenile because it’s aimed at a literally more juvenile audience of young kids than The Dark Knight or Iron Man was, but Pixar have set a high bar for genuinely family oriented storytelling and Transformers doesn’t reach it. I’m still glad (although not necessarily proud) I have enough of that juvenility left in me to go along for that silly ride.
- Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.May 4, 2009 at 9:51 pm #22627
Comic book movies? Not for kids?
I don’t know, I just draw the line between juvenile and just insulting. I’m so juvenile! In fact, it would have been ten times better if Bumblebee was jerking it and he blew robot spunk on Turturro’s head. See? My movie’s better already!
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