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Getting to know the SOS’ers part #03 ===Captain Bryan

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Getting to know the SOS’ers part #03 ===Captain Bryan

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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  • #1678
    Bing
    Participant

    Ok class settle down, settle down.

    Bryan, stop playing on the computer it’s time to take your exam…..what?…..no, you can go after you finish.

    1 – Name 3 qualities that you find most irritating in others.
    2 – Baked Potato, fries, or side salad?
    3 – If you could create your own reality based show (not necessarily starring you) what would be the title and premise?
    4 – Tuck it in or lay it on the toilet seat? (seated on the throne in case you missed it)
    5 – You awake one day to find you can become invisible at will, where do you go first and what do you do there?
    6 – What vegetable reminds you the most of Rob?
    7 – If an alien comes to your house seeking information on humanity what is the first thing you show it?
    8 – How many different cars have you owned and which one do you miss the most?
    9 – Salma Hayek, Monica Bellucci, and Natalie Portman. You must kiss one, punch one in the face, and get kicked in the nuts by one. One action per girl..use all actions and all girls…..what happens?
    10 – beer, liquor, or soda?
    11 – Name 3 ways in which you and Jerry are the most alike. Name 3 ways in which you and Jerry are the most unique.
    12 – Would you rather have to call in a nearly deaf dog named “MyLil’ peepee” or “bitchu stink”?

    #20123
    Bucho
    Participant

    Bing, Bucho. Your questions are bordering on genius dude, you’re like some interviewer savant. Although being called genius by an idiot carries a questionable amount of credibility.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #20120
    Version3
    Keymaster

    1 – Name 3 qualities that you find most irritating in others.

    needing a lot of attention, breathing and precognition… I hate when people ruin it for me.

    2 – Baked Potato, fries, or side salad?

    You’ve seen my picture, right? Fries… did you think it would be anything else?

    3 – If you could create your own reality based show (not necessarily starring you) what would be the title and premise?

    I’d have to do a show where teams of Hollywood/NY Television execs sit around and plan new reality TV shows or ‘hit comedy’ ideas… the winner gets to make their TV show and put it in a primetime spot on Thursdays, and the rest get a sports Gatorade style salute for their efforts… only the cooler is full of molten lava. Take that you rich tasteless bastards! The title: “Warped Reality of Reality TV: The Real Reality TV Game” or “Make a Hit Show or you F’n Die Rich Fuckers!” -I guess that would have to play on Cable.

    4 – Tuck it in or lay it on the toilet seat? (seated on the throne in case you missed it)

    Tuck. Not always the most comfortable, but it really helps out when the other system wants it’s turn! hahahaha

    5 – You awake one day to find you can become invisible at will, where do you go first and what do you do there?

    It’s hard to say, it depends on who was annoying me most at the time, but I’d definitely be where I could annoy them most. Like maybe if they went to a Pottery Barn or something, I’d follow them around the store knocking glass shit off tables and shelves right next to them. I’d also grab the ass of a sweaty fat chick near him/her. I’d totally fuck with the field newscasters that I hate too.

    6 – What vegetable reminds you the most of Rob?

    You are NOT going to make me say Wasabi, so don’t throw out these baited questions.

    7 – If an alien comes to your house seeking information on humanity what is the first thing you show it?

    My kids… I figure if the alien hugs them as if he/she has missed them, then it all makes sense. If he looks intrigued, they’ll talk his fucking head off and I can go catch up on missed episodes of “Cut, Chop, Rebuild”.

    8 – How many different cars have you owned and which one do you miss the most?

    I believe I am at 38. It’s hard to be sure about it all of the time, but I think it’s the Speedster, my 1960 VW Type II Single Cab. At the time of this writing it’s featured in my avatar. If I were to pick a second, I’d say my Buick Grand National in it’s prime, but it’s hard to pick that one overall, it broke a LOT.

    9 – Salma Hayek, Monica Bellucci, and Natalie Portman. You must kiss one, punch one in the face, and get kicked in the nuts by one. One action per girl..use all actions and all girls…..what happens?

    Well, Salma is my choice to kiss… she’s the one I’d be most hopeful to get down with. I’d punch Natalie because I don’t put her on the hot scale at all, and I think she’d generate the most news: switched:ON Show host punches the Queen! I guess Monica gets to kick me in the nuts, but only because I think Salma could hurt the most, and I’d want to punch Natalie if I had to choose one. I guess Monica by default more than anything.

    10 – beer, liquor, or soda?

    Soda. Have I told my drunk story on the show?

    11 – Name 3 ways in which you and Jerry are the most alike. Name 3 ways in which you and Jerry are the most unique.

    Sense of humor, being carbon-based and doing reality checks to make sure we actually exist. We are virtually identical in these areas.
    Persued Hobbies, home address and color of shoes being worn today.

    12 – Would you rather have to call in a nearly deaf dog named “MyLil’ peepee” or “bitchu stink”?[/quote]

    MyLil peepee… I’d start by doing the mispronouncing thing that Jerry has made switched:ON famous, then I’d end it with “has anyone seen ‘MyLil’ peepee?” and “Where’s ________”

    May, I really have to go! Must have been that Venti coffee before bed.

    #20131
    Scatt
    Participant
    Quote:
    I’d have to do a show where teams of Hollywood/NY Television execs sit around and plan new reality TV shows or ‘hit comedy’ ideas… the winner gets to make their TV show and put it in a primetime spot on Thursdays, and the rest get a sports Gatorade style salute for their efforts… only the cooler is full of molten lava. Take that you rich tasteless bastards! The title: “Warped Reality of Reality TV: The Real Reality TV Game” or “Make a Hit Show or you F’n Die Rich Fuckers!” -I guess that would have to play on Cable.

    Genius.

    Quote:
    Tuck it in or lay it on the toilet seat?

    I’ve heard this asked of people before and I personally don’t get it at all. I would piss all over the seat, damn it. About 90% of the time, I piss right along with the battle. Even that slack 10%, I still wouldn’t be confident enough that I wouldn’t blow Sunkist all over the floor. Do people really sit lid? Do they let their cocks rest like it’s bedtime, especially if it’s at other peoples’ houses or anywhere else where there’d be other dudes who might do the same thing?

    While were going in that direction; Why do rappers always talk about how they always, “Let day nuts hang”? Who doesn’t?! Who’s got duct tape sores on their chode, legs, and ass? Raise your hand.

    Am I letting y’all in on more than you’d care to know about me?… 90%, am I dying?

    #20127
    rob
    Participant

    Wow, you can always count on Bryan to confuse the hell out of me. That alien thing is confusing me — why would it make sense if they hugged your children? Ack! And I remind you of a spicy Asian condiment? You and Jerry are unique by the color of shoes you wear? Huh?

    The reality TV show idea was awesome.

    #20122
    Bucho
    Participant
    rob wrote:
    — why would it make sense if they hugged your children?

    Maybe Bryan thinks his children act like aliens sometimes and it would make sense to him if they actually were. The aliens recognise their own kind even in human disguise. Didn’t they teach you anything in your high school Extra-Terrestrial studies class dude?

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #20135
    Bing
    Participant

    I’ve heard this asked of people before and I personally don’t get it at all. I would piss all over the seat, damn it. About 90% of the time, I piss right along with the battle. Even that slack 10%, I still wouldn’t be confident enough that I wouldn’t blow Sunkist all over the floor. Do people really sit lid? Do they let their cocks rest like it’s bedtime, especially if it’s at other peoples’ houses or anywhere else where there’d be other dudes who might do the same thing?

    While were going in that direction; Why do rappers always talk about how they always, “Let day nuts hang”? Who doesn’t?! Who’s got duct tape sores on their chode, legs, and ass? Raise your hand.

    Scatt, dude….that was special….I’m frightened by the amount of thought you have put into this issue….I can’t wait to do your questions…..oh, by the way you owe me $29.99 for the shirt I spit beer on when reading your comment..

    #20136
    Frank
    Participant

    Portman, Belluci and Hayek? Oh boy do I have different answers!

    I’d let Portman kick me in the nuts, because she seems like she would hurt less. I’d punch Hayek in the face, but only because then I’d kiss the true love of my life, Monica Belluci! God, I would do nasty, evil things to her.

    I’d drink her bathwater!

    TMI?

    #20132
    Scatt
    Participant
    Bing wrote:
    Scatt, dude….that was special….I’m frightened by the amount of thought you have put into this issue….I can’t wait to do your questions…..oh, by the way you owe me $29.99 for the shirt I spit beer on when reading your comment..

    Dude, the greatest part about me reading this was the fact that there was no quote box around the quote, so at first quick glance I was like, “90%… I’d piss all over the seat… Wow, someone agrees with me big time!…. wait, he calls it a ‘battle’, too?… Aw shit, that’s what I wrote”.

    #20121
    Bucho
    Participant

    Wait … which bit do you call the chode? Another word for taint? Cause as much as I dig American slang taint always seemed a dumb word for that area to me.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    #20134
    Bing
    Participant

    Chode is funnier to me than taint they way Pa_ul used it. I think the two terms should be interchangeable.

    Hey Chode face…you can kiss my taint!….in a non gay way

    #20126
    rob
    Participant

    I’ve always liked the term “Grundel”. Makes it sound either really creepy or a character in a fairy tale. My grundel is actually a little of both.

    #20130
    Newman
    Participant

    I still havent found my grundle yet… 🙁

    #20125
    rob
    Participant

    The terms Grundel, chode and taint are all interchangeable. If you haven’t found it yet, Newman, you might have to have a little expedition to find that bad boy!

    #20129
    Newman
    Participant

    Are you free tonight to help me find it Rob, 4 hands are better than 1…haha…ew…maybe I wont post this…hmmm better give the folks what they paid for…

    Its just jokes anyways!

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