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Conversation of zany humor…

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Conversation of zany humor…

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
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  • #2045

    This is from a few months ago, but I was reading through my IM history and thought this was funny, and…well, it is. Hope you enjoy.

    Session Start : Mon Mar 02 09:47:41 2009
    [09:47] Rob: What’s new?
    [09:48] Charlie: This IM conversation.
    [09:48] Rob: It is.
    [09:48] Charlie: This message… right…. here.
    [09:49] Rob: Bought a new car on Friday.
    [09:49] Charlie: That is new.
    [09:49] Charlie: What kind?
    [09:49] Rob: 2008 VW Passat.
    [09:49] Charlie: Can I urinate on it?
    [09:49] Rob: Sure!
    [09:50] Charlie: I love to urinate on 2008 VW Passats… wait.. what color?
    [09:50] Rob: Granite Green.
    [09:50] Charlie: Nevermind….
    [09:50] Charlie: urinate on it yourself.
    [09:50] Rob: Way ahead of you.
    [09:50] Charlie: lol
    [09:51] Charlie: Have you tested out the trunk?
    [09:52] Charlie: Wait.. I thought you were taking your old one in for service? What happened?
    [09:52] Rob: Well, yeah! That’s the first thing I checked out!
    [09:52] Charlie: Good… you know exactly what to look for.
    [09:52] Charlie: smart man.
    [09:53] Rob: I said to the salesman — “I know this is weird, but I want you to lock me in the trunk.”
    [09:53] Charlie: “Ok, Time me….NOW!”
    [09:53] Rob: He said, “If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I could buy some gum.”
    [09:53] Charlie: Then just sit in there all day long while he times you..
    [09:54] Charlie: Take a nap.
    [09:54] Rob: My Jetta was jacked.
    [09:54] Charlie: Hi-jacked?
    [09:54] Charlie: Lo-jacked?
    [09:54] Rob: It’s worth like $3700. $5000 worth of work needed to be done.
    [09:54] Charlie: Mid-Jacked?
    [09:55] Rob: Nah, just jacked.
    [09:55] Charlie: Interesting.
    [09:57] Rob: Yeah, it’s nice though.
    [09:58] Charlie: Sounds pretty nice…
    [09:58] Rob: Right? Those words make it sound nice.
    [09:58] Charlie: Words are nice too.
    [09:58] Charlie: Sounds are nice.
    [09:58] Rob: Words are nice when there are letters involved.
    [09:59] Charlie: Punctuation makes things extra nice.
    [10:05] Rob: Yeah, and I’m not smoking in it either.
    [10:42] Charlie: Is it smoking in you?
    Session Close (Charlie): Mon Mar 02 10:43:20 2009

    Session Start : Mon Mar 02 10:43:40 2009
    [10:43] Rob: No, it is not. It is a “smokin'” car, though!
    [10:44] Rob: That was cheesy.
    [10:44] Charlie: LOL
    [10:44] Charlie: That was awesome.
    [10:45] Rob: You liked that, didja?
    [10:46] Rob: That’s almost as bad as that polar bear joke.
    [10:46] Charlie: What polar bear joke?
    [10:46] Rob: Polar bear walks into a bar and says, “Yeah, I want aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa beer.”
    [10:47] Rob: Bartender says, “Why the big pause?”
    [10:47] Rob: You almost have to read that out loud, but yeah.
    [10:47] Charlie: LOL
    [10:47] Charlie: That is just as awesome as your smokin’ car.
    [10:47] Rob: I laughed when I heard it, but was almost ashamed that I found it that funny.
    [10:48] Rob: Big paws! ‘Cause he’s got big paws!
    [10:49] Charlie: Guilty pleasure humor.
    [10:49] Rob: Exactly. It’s like I’m almost ashamed to say I like “Uncle Buck”, but I do.
    [10:50] Charlie: I wonder if they ever made a porn of that… with an obvious letter substitution…
    [10:50] Rob: Right.
    [10:51] Rob: Like “Shunkle Buck”.
    [10:51] Charlie: “Uncle Luck”
    [10:51] Charlie: “Funkle Buck”
    [10:51] Rob: “Huckle Buck”.
    [10:52] Rob: Isn’t that an actual sexual term?
    [10:52] Rob: “I was in jail, and that dude gave me the huckle buck.”
    [10:52] Charlie: LOL
    [10:52] Charlie: “Uncle Back”
    [10:53] Charlie: Okay, changing one letter to make a different word is much funnier than I would have thought.
    [10:53] Rob: “Uncle Dick.”
    [10:54] Rob: That one made me laugh.
    [10:54] Charlie: That was 2 letters!
    [10:54] Charlie: CHEATER!
    [10:54] Charlie: “Uncle Duck”
    [10:54] Charlie: “Uncle Bick”
    [10:55] Charlie: Uncle Suck”
    [10:55] Rob: Uncle Tuck.
    [10:55] Rob: It’s a hermaphrodite movie.
    [10:55] Charlie: LOL
    [10:56] Rob: Uncle Zuck. German movie.
    [10:56] Charlie: “Uncle Bock” the sequel to chicken little.
    [10:57] Rob: I smell franchise!
    [10:57] Rob: “Uncle Bock,” the second amazing film in the Chicken Little Trilogy.
    [10:57] Charlie: LOL
    [10:57] Charlie: Im seriously laughing pretty hard at this.
    [10:58] Rob: Uncle Yuck, it’s gross-out porn.
    [10:59] Rob: Uncle Muck, mud porn.
    [10:59] Rob: Uncle Puck, hockey porn.
    [11:00] Charlie: Uncle Bunk, bunk bed porn
    [11:00] Charlie: Have you ever seen this show?
    [11:00] Charlie: (Link: http://www.tv.com/important-things-with-demetri-martin/show/76647/summary.html?q=important%20things&tag=search_results;title;1)http://www.tv.com/important-things-with-demetri-martin/show/76647/summary.html?q=important%20things&tag=search_results;title;1
    [11:01] Rob: No. Is it good?
    [11:01] Charlie: Yes, I think its hillarious… kind of strange humor though.
    [11:02] Rob: Strange humor can be good for the soul.
    [11:02] Rob: And the economy.
    [11:02] Charlie: Yes. Especially the economy.


    i needed that. thx for sharing.

    My essence still senses Bucho's women.


    That’s great. You must be so engrossed in your work.


    That was the good ol’ days, back when I only had one job. Before the dark times.

    Before the Empire.


    You have two jobs now?


    Charlie is a funny fucker. I think it’s romantic the way you guys can talk about pretty much anything.

    - Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.


    I know, Charlie should come to a show or two… I’ve thought so for a very long time.


    @rob 40374 wrote:

    That was the good ol’ days, back when I only had one job. Before the dark times.

    Before the Empire.

    *The Starwars theme begins to play*

    Great stuff Rob, but I am surprised the boss did not have your ass for goofing off.


    Well, like I said, this was before things got real up there. You know, when the shit started to go down up there, I yelled, “Aw, hell, naw!”, and then I was attacked by an 80-foot mechanical spider.


    An 80-foot monkey lovin’ mechanical spider at your Monday-to-Friday office.




    @rob 40388 wrote:

    Well, like I said, this was before things got real up there. You know, when the shit started to go down up there, I yelled, “Aw, hell, naw!”, and then I was attacked by an 80-foot mechanical spider.

    Oh you mean the one with the 10 foot waggly penis? Or did our companies hire different mechanical spiders?

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