Thought you boys might wanna try my new sci-fi fantasy fornicating thingamajig.
For Rob “Man with the Golden Laugh”:
Due to Rob’s fascination with the “Big ‘Ole Jubbly Boobie Bounce” factor I think we need a sensitive but spanking hot sci-fi femme fatale. The nominees for “Rob’s Boobie Buddy” are…
-Marina Sirtis (Councilor Troi from ST:TNG)
-Barbarella (70’s version of Jane Fonda)
-Jeri Ryan (7 of 9 in ST:Voyager)
Moving on to Jedi Master Jerry:
Jerry needs a more cerebral woman, someone who can talk philosophy AND be good spanking material. The nominees for Jerry’s “Wank-Worthy Womanly Wannabe” are…
-Carrie Ann Moss (Matrix)
-Angelina Jolie (Tomb Raider)
-Amy Allen (that blue cleavage Jedi from Revenge of the Sith)
And last but never least our Captain Bryan
Bryan’s a difficult one, he needs a hottie but not so hot that she can’t laugh at fart jokes or nose-picking. Given the difficulty of this task we will move beyond sci-fi into the realm of Sci-Fi Fantasy. So Cap’n Bryan your nominees are….
-Jewel Staite (Serenity)
-Liv Tyler (LOTR)
-Kirstie Ally (80’s version = think Star Trek II: Wrath of KAHN ,not the Jenny Craig version)
Votes will determine each guys winner and the girls will be shipped UPS in airtight containers (objects packed by weight not volume, some settling or suffocating may occur).