I swear, as I was reading the review, it was like it was narrated by Rusty. The review’s for Cloverfield. Greatest line: If they’re looking for poster quotes, how about “It’s like the pussy eats YOU out.”
I don’t want to read the review, I’m totally afraid of spoilers. I can’t even tell from your excerpt (although it sounds like something I expect to say after seeing it) what the guy thought of it. Was the review positive or negative?