AAAAYYYYYY Bing, Frank!
All right, I’ll do my best. I was never good at standardized tests.
siddown and shaddup. Time to take the test, young Jedi.
12 – Hum, since I work in sports, the only way that story would involve me is if Frank Oz had his hand up Yoda’s ass while Yoda was injecting Barry Bonds with steroids, all the while, Bonds was high-fiving a college football player for having his way with the hot cheerleader. Ironically, that sounds like something that would make it in our paper.
11 – Skinny dipping party? I’ve never been skinny.
10 – Unfortunately, I’ll be attending the NAACP’s rally in South Carolina and while Dubya is more than welcomed to attend, I’m sure he’ll come up with some excuse.
9 – What the hell do I care? It’s not like I’m going to be paying attention to the stereo anyway. On top of that, what the hell is my roommate doing in my room while I’m celebrating? No, no, there’s a strict policy on that.
8 – 1:00.00: Old woman at Christian bookstore parking lot flips me off. 1:00.37: Look to make sure I just saw what I just saw. 1:01.33: Realize that didn’t make any sense. 1:02.14: Proceed to call old woman a host of names ranging in size and significance. 1:04.30: Finish the name calling. 1:05.00: Get out of my truck, since I’ve just rammed her while not paying attention.
7 – Blue lightsaber.
6 – I guess I’ll just have to go with Bravo! That way, my car would be “FABULOUS!”
5 – Why would you put your socks on over your pants??
4 – I can’t remember the show, but it wasn’t the best (sorry, guys). But, I downloaded the next one and laughed my ass off at work. Then called and told a full-length version of the story in a voicemail, and the guys picked on me for leaving such a long voicemail message. *I ain’t mad atcha*
3 – Padme in a thong, or Leia in a metal bikini? <
damn, I need a towel! I’m going to go with Leia, always with Leia and the gold bikini.
2 – I’ll just go ahead and gouge my eyes out now if that’s okay.
1 – His therapy bill would be huge! That would be physical therapy, because the boy’s not going to be able to move for a couple of months.
“Dave, it’s a pleasure being on your show. Now, to get to your questions, ‘What were you thinking after you saved it,’ I first wanted to thank Moses, because everyone thanks Jesus and God, but no one ever thanks Moses anymore. And I kept thinking about how those guys on the Switched:on Show would have done, because Rob would have run in, Bryan would have pointed and yelled and Jerry would be there on the street with a keyboard coming up with theme music for the event. It would have been magical, Dave, it would have been.”