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Re: Who the Hell cares who listens to SOS–Last Man Standing

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Re: Who the Hell cares who listens to SOS–Last Man Standing

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My two cents:

Bing wrote:
This is it boys, the final battle. Good versus evil, bad taste versus purity, smelly versus clean, Jedi versus Sith, A-cups versus DDD’s….

But enough about Jerry and Darth Octavious..let’s get to it shall we? Questions may be answered in any form and in any order, feel free to leave out any questions you wish, as well as add any you feel should be included. Nothing is safe, there are no rules, pull no punches…….here we go.

-When receiving “oral pleasure” for the first time by a lovely lady made of breasts and all things womanly you discover you absolutely have to fart. It’s coming out whether you want it to or not. You know that the offensive act will contain only air and no “detritus”, do you stop the act or hope that she won’t notice? Should you choose to stop, how do you do it? What do you say?

Hell no, you never stop! See if you can get her to ‘hurry up’ or the thing that ends it quickly for all women, ‘I’m about to come ….’ At least, that’s been my experience.

Bing wrote:
-During a job interview you discover that your potential employer has a hanger (booger). Much to your horror the dried secretion falls free from the clutches of its nose hair anchor and lands with a (quite audible) thud on the desk. What do you think of to keep from laughing?

Bing running around in his man-panties on spring break screaming out for the funnel. Wait, I’m not supposed to laugh? Oh well, too late for that.

Bing wrote:
-which goes on first pants or socks?

How can you get your socks on over your pants? I guess you can … would be an interesting fashion statement.

Bing wrote:
-fasten then zip or zip then fasten?


Bing wrote:
-You find a stash of bestiality porn at Grandma’s house. Will you still leave your dog alone with her or not?

Don’t have a dog, but I don’t think I’m going to visiting grandma’s house anymore during “Goat Party Tuesdays.”

Bing wrote:
-Detail for the SOS’ers the first time you were ever kicked, hit, or smacked in the nuts.

I was in elementary school and some girl just ran up to me and smacked me directly in the nuts. True story. Don’t know why she did it, or why it took an extra three years for me to go through puberty, but I’m still scared by how much that hurt. That was a new kinda hurt. Interesting side note, though. That girl is now living in some trailer in South Carolina with four kids, living off welfare … oh yeah, the four kids are with five different guys (math wiz, do the math).

Bing wrote:
-You are able to become invisible for up to 2 hours once every day. Assuming you don’t visit the same place twice in a week, describe week one.

Monday – Visit a girl I know at work who has the most amazing breasts I’ve, unfortunately, never seen.
Tuesday – Go to work and get the two guys I absolutely hate fired by doing some of the most eat-up shit.
Wednesday – Visit the most expensive restaurant in town, Applebee’s (that’s a joke), and walk out without paying.
Thursday – Make some serious money off the college kids, with the ‘I bet I can turn invisible’ bet.
Friday – While covering the high school football game, give the fans a real treat by helping the cheerleaders with their performances – evil laugh inserted here.
Saturday – Sleep in, I’m tired, dammit! I’m only one man!
Sunday – Freak out the cops by going 150 in the interstate, pulling over and “Oh my god, no one’s there!” That would be the new video hitting the Web … Ghost Car 2! woooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bing wrote:
-If Rob was an animal what would he be?

Ruby-throated South American warbler – Simpsons reference

Bing wrote:
-If Jerry was a food what would he be?

le Gateaux St.Honore

Bing wrote:
-If Bryan was a genre of entertainment what would he be?

Game show, definitely game show.

Bing wrote:
-What is the best way to give out the SOS voicemail phone number and have you done it?

Every time you order out, give them the SOS voicemail number instead of your own.

Bing wrote:
-choose one:
Rob for Prez….even though he ain’t gay
Bryan for Prom Queen…cause his dog’s a whore
Jerry needs a grammy…..fuck grandpa
(or add your own)

Or … AAYYYYYY, Switched:on! BING!

Bing wrote:
-(El Nacho + Bucho) – (Digitalopia * Bsherrod) =

I’m waiting for Stephen Hawking to call me back on this one. Me and Stee-Hawk are tight.

Bing wrote:
-Under what conditions would you allow yourself to be used as a human cannonball?

Monica Belluci: “Oh Frank, I love guys who are human cannonballs. If you did it, ooooo, I don’t know what I’d do ….”

Bing wrote:
-Every time I think of SOS I ____ until _____. Those _____ get me ______ all the _______ unless I can ______ my _______.

“Every time I think of SOS I cry until I think of something else. Those episodes get me depressed all the fucking time unless I can turn off my computer. — Just kidding, love you guys.

Bing wrote:
-My most traumatic experience with a kitchen appliance was the time________.

I damn near cut myself in half trying to open a bag with a giant-ass butcher knife point at my stomach. Long story, but I didn’t get cut in half.

Bing wrote:
Ah-aight ya’ll that’s all you get….

Nuthin but love……..in a non-gay way.


Wow, that took a long time. Enjoy!