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Re: Who the Hell cares about Captain Bryan?

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Re: Who the Hell cares about Captain Bryan?

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1 – Imagine you are the kid on the handlebars of a bike spoken of in show 111 that Bryan hit in the nuts with an egg. You stumble across SOS on the web and you decide to leave a voicemail….whaddya say on it?

Bryan…remember me. The guy that you threw the egg at his nuts. On your show, you always are talking about the past, lets play catch up, but this time, I got the eggs!

2 – What really set off the old lady that Bryan assaulted in the parking lot after he hit her car when she tried to run him over? (show # citation needed)

“If you going rear-end me, at least ask me to bend over!”

3 – Describe (from the young lady’s point of view) Bryan’s first sexual experience as YOU think it happened?

It’s like climbing Mt. Everest but not as tall and a little bit wider.

4 – Let’s say you work with Bryan and one day in the office crapper you are sitting down on the throne thinking of the mysteries of the universe when he runs in a sits in the stall next to you to “unload”. Describe the smell and try to extrapolate what he had for dinner the past 2 nights.

The next day I will be waking up in the hospital with an oxygen mask on.

5 – Disregarding canonical evidence and Bryan’s own recollections. What is YOUR version of the first time Rob and Bryan met?

At Star Bucks
Bryan: Double Grande Frappuccino Cappuccino Latte with Ginger and Nutmeg and to top it off some whip cream please?
Rob: Here’s 2 cents to help you pay for it, but next time go with something smaller.
Bryan: Hey, if you want my 2 cents, join me on my podcast.
Rob: Podcast? What that?
Bryan: Internet show that you can talk about anything and everything.
Rob: Even Boobies!
Bryan: Yes, even Boobies!
Rob:(Jumping up and down, being happy and laughing)Boobies, Boobies, Boobies.

6 – Before you saw his picture (sexy thang that he is) what was your earliest mental image of Bryan’s physical and facial appearance? How accurate were you?

Brad Pitt. I wasn’t even close.

7 – If SOS “hits it big” one day and becomes a national show and makes a gabazillion dollars, how will you describe Bryan when being interviewed by the press on the “Old Time Fans of SOS half-hour comedy hour show”?

See, the captain is a jolly funny lovin guy that likes to talk. Something like if Santa Claus never shut the fuck up. Are you sure you have enough room on the minidisc?

8 – Using the voice of Bryan’s “inner monologue” tell us what he is thinking during any given SOS show?

Why is Rob sitting close to me… Take out the garbage tonight… Work on the gallery, so Bing can shut the fuck up… Fix the Bug… When is El Nacho coming back or is he Rusty… Oh, say the number of the show, give out the email address, the voicemail, good… Hmmm, one more thing, continue to spam the site so I can piss off Newman

Last One: Captain’s Choice Only
Bryan: Respond to any answers above and also suggest where any particular member can go and what they can do when they get there…..(keep it Holy)