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Re: Who the Hell cares about Captain Bryan?

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Re: Who the Hell cares about Captain Bryan?

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#10080
Frank
Participant
Bing wrote:
Put on a rubber C.B….you’re about to get roughfucked…..

Okay boys, each one of you (except Bryan) gets a response to all question except the LAST one…that one is for The Captain….

…be rough, but not mean…..be crude but not rude….basically just be yourselves…..

1 – Imagine you are the kid on the handlebars of a bike spoken of in show 111 that Bryan hit in the nuts with an egg. You stumble across SOS on the web and you decide to leave a voicemail….whaddya say on it?

“Is this thing on? Hello? Listen, awhile back … uh, some guy hit me in the nuts while I was riding on the handlebars of a bike. I don’t know how to approach this … was it you? I’m not upset or anything, but just wanted to put a face to guy who put me in the hospital for a month, and then subsequent visits for surgeries and things like that. No biggie. Thanks.” — note, that’s not me, just trying to think of what an asshole schmuck would have called in to say.

Bing wrote:
2 – What really set off the old lady that Bryan assaulted in the parking lot after he hit her car when she tried to run him over? (show # citation needed)

“It wasn’t his fault, I was just going to miss the opening of the Matlock hour with the girls, and I can’t miss that, sweetie.”

Bing wrote:
3 – Describe (from the young lady’s point of view) Bryan’s first sexual experience as YOU think it happened?

“I can see him praying to some sort of pagan god that by the time he turned 21, some poor, innocent young thing would put her hand in his lap and be tender with him before they got married. Sinners, all of you, sinners!!” … okay, I can’t even write all of that without cracking up.

Bing wrote:
4 – Let’s say you work with Bryan and one day in the office crapper you are sitting down on the throne thinking of the mysteries of the universe when he runs in a sits in the stall next to you to “unload”. Describe the smell and try to extrapolate what he had for dinner the past 2 nights.

The smell is not unlike the smell of burnt oranges and, surprisingly, mint. I’m thinking he must have freebased a concoction of Slice with those little breath freshener things they give you at Italian restaurants. It was “unpleasant” but it wasn’t something that I’d want to smell on an everyday basis.

Bing wrote:
5 – Disregarding canonical evidence and Bryan’s own recollections. What is YOUR version of the first time Rob and Bryan met?

Sadly, they kept running into each other in the “Adult Movie” section of your favorite neighborhood rental place not named Blockbuster (really, what’s the deal, why no porn in Blockbuster anyway? As a side note, I think it would be funny to call Blockbuster to see if they have a movie and just rattle off like 10 ‘porn sounding’ titles)

Bing wrote:
6 – Before you saw his picture (sexy thang that he is) what was your earliest mental image of Bryan’s physical and facial appearance? How accurate were you?

Couldn’t really describe it, but what I had in mind and what he turned out to be seemed really close.

Bing wrote:
7 – If SOS “hits it big” one day and becomes a national show and makes a gabazillion dollars, how will you describe Bryan when being interviewed by the press on the “Old Time Fans of SOS half-hour comedy hour show”?

The Captain will be wearing a nice outfit, picked out for him by one of his many, many lovely assistants. Bryan will then speak the virtues of ‘remembering where you came from’ etc. Then he would take his gabazillion dollars, forget about everyone except for the girls at the Big Tittie Roundup Cavalcade … where a gabazillion dollars in singles would go a long, long, long way.

Bing wrote:
8 – Using the voice of Bryan’s “inner monologue” tell us what he is thinking during any given SOS show?

Damn, Jerry has talent on that keyboard. I wish Rob would stop talking now because I have some really funny to say. Oh great, now I forgot it. More voicemails. Yeah, 50 messages from Rusty. God, I need a drink. (Nothing but love guys, no offense meant … dems just jokes)

Bing wrote:
Last One: Captain’s Choice Only
Bryan: Respond to any answers above and also suggest where any particular member can go and what they can do when they get there…..(keep it Holy)

“Spreading the non-gay love”
-bing