AAYY! Ya’ll, Bing!!
Thanks for the supportive textual fellatio!
They said the operation went off just as planned, so I should be able to walk again in 3 years. I know it seems like a lot but with the time travel pills it’ll go by real quick.
And now a word about pain medication.
For some unknown reason (demonic posession or simple apathy) the doctor’s decided not to give me any pain medicine after the surgery where they drilled into the bone….where they drilled into the bone…THE BONE!!!
So I awake from surgery a little curious as to why there was a blinding pain deep within my bones in a hospital full of morphine and other such wonders. I asked the nurse for something for pain to which she tells me *no shit* that I needed to…
“Take a deep breath and ignore the pain, it is mostly in your head”
Sound advice in a bad action movie, but perfectly fucking WORTHLESS when I have a HOLE in MY FUCKING BONE!!
I really didn’t care if she and I weren’t gonna get along, I was in way too much pain and was getting ready to throw up or cry like a little bitch…turns out I did both…
“Are you gonna hang crystals up by the bed next?” I asked her……
You know in hospitals they can ignore just about anything, they do it all day. People scream and threaten, they say they’ll be right back and leave for 5 hours.
Finally someone managed to find the head nurse and he hooked me up with a nice little drippy-dip bag of happiness and bliss…..
So the next time you want pain meds I cannot guarantee that
–insulting a nurse
-throwing the water pitched to the floor (it was all I could reach)
-pressing the *nurse* button every 3 mins
-Yelling at the top of your lungs at 1 am
will help you in any way to get them. If this sounds bad to you then please do not have surgery at Providence Northeast Hospital and don’t stay in a room where your nurse is named Barbara.
Frank did bring me a Darth Vader Action figure in a little cinderella castle bag to the hospital though….ain’t he sweet?