Is easily led into telling time wasting stories in class that have nothing to do with the topic at hand.
Drinks bottled beer, but pours the beer from a bottle into a glass.
Repeats his lame attempts at jokes to give you a second chance to “get it”
Wears generic, solid color boxer shorts with no pattern.
At teacher functions and gatherings he’s the first to arrive and the last to leave.
At least once per semester, he gets a bad haircut that takes several weeks to grow out, much to the delight of the students who make fun of it.
He often doesn’t understand that he’s the butt of the joke
Instead of a box of tissues, he either uses a cloth hankie or the same wadded up tissue over and over
He uses exagerated hand movements when he talks… overusing the “air quotes” to emphasize his point
Name- Sorry, he is not a Jim or a Steve.
Stories- This is right on. At least once a class, he starts babbling about why you can’t eat shark without rinsing it, how small dogs scare him, etc.
Beer- I haven’t personally witnessed his beer-drinking habits, so I can’t verify this.
Jokes- Yes, this is very common. He tells the worst jokes, so we stare at him, and then he repeats just in case we missed it.
Boxers- Ummm… do you want me to find out?
Functions- This is usually true, he is last to leave (especially if there is food available)
Haircut- Anoher hit! Mr. Watters dyes his hair about once a month, and it is ridiculously obvious. He is about 65 years old, and he is trying to make everyone think that his hair is still dark black. Sorry man, not fooling anyone.
Butt of joke- Yeah, this is a common occurence as well. We like to aggravate him by asking simple questions a lot, and he gets really flabbergasted.
Hankie- Watters does use a hankerchief instead of tissues. That thing must get really gross.
Hand movements- he is definitely an abuser of the air quotes.
Man, Mikey, I think that you have definitely had the best guesses so far. The stories and the haircut guesses were eerily accurate.