Okay, I found this clip on YouTube (well, I found it on digg, but you get the idea) of a shitload of intros to old 80’s cartoons. Being a big fan of cartoons in the 80’s I figured what the hell. I can admit freely that as many intros as they fit into the 30 or so minutes of this thing, I think I have seen all of them save three or four. I was even impressed that they brought up Bravestarr.
Here are a few things I thought about while watching this:
1.) If you create a snazzy, toe-tapping intro number with words that everyone can remember, you increase your show’s chance of survival. (Doubt me? Quick, think about the songs for DuckTales, TMNT, Transformers and Dungeons and Dragons … can’t think of one of those, can you?)
2.) Anything with Lou Scheimer’s name attached is going somewhere (at least for a few episodes). Scheimer was a busy guy in the 80s, producing: He-Man, She-Ra, Bravestarr, Ghostbusters (not the Real Ghostbusters, mind you) just to name a few.
3.) Your cartoon will be more successful if you have some kind of animal in it, or if it’s about an animal. If the animal can talk, that means even bigger dollar signs.
4.) I didn’t remember just how bad the Gobots were. I mean, damn. If you watched an episode of Transformers, then watched an episode of Gobots, you will notice that refried, reheated shit just doesn’t go down well.
5.) We watched some eat-up shit back then and didn’t even think twice about it! He-Man/She-Ra? Basically the same thing. Bravestarr? So on a planet called “New Texas” you’re going to have a guy who is an Indian as your hero, but he’s going to have ears like a hawk, strength like a bear, eyes like a eagle and speed like a puma? A puma? Really, is that the best they could come up with?
6.) Voltron is one of the most ripped-off shows in history. They actually had a rip-off show when Voltron was still on the air! Then they brought up the Power Rangers, which again, was a total rip-off. (Pink Ranger was hot) And, for the record, Voltron could be getting his metallic ass handed to him on a silver platter, but if he whooped out that blazing sword, that was your ass. You knew the episode was about over when the blazing sword came out.
7.) For every show, there were at least 100 toys to go along with that show. Regardless. It wasn’t until I was older that I found out that He-Man was a toy before it was a cartoon. Also, as a side note, has anyone seen on IMDB where they’re talking about the new live-action He-Man for 2008? I’ve heard it was on, then off, then on again, etc. Bunch of people I’ve never heard of before cast to be in it. But I have heard of the woman who’s supposed to play Queen Marlena. She plays Hope on Days of Our Lives. I … uh … only know that because when I wasn’t watching cartoons as a kid, my grandmother made me watch “the soaps.”
Okay, that’s my list. How about that? Knowledgeable about both cartoons and porn. I’m sure to make some dreamy girl proud!